Top Ten Tuesday: Funny Opening Lines

Hosted by That Artsy Reader Girl

I think I will let these quotes speak for themselves!

1. “Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much.” ― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone

2. “The sun shone, having no alternative, on the nothing new.” ― Samuel Beckett, Murphy

3. “To say the least, it was inconsiderate of Diana’s almost-dead husband to show up at her engagement party.” ― Robin Lee Hatcher, Beloved

4. “The last thing one discovers in composing a work is what to put first.” ― Blaise Pascal, Pensées

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6. “That year the Ribeiro’s daffodils seeded early and they seeded cockroaches. Now, ecologically speaking, even a cockroach has its place — but these suckers bit. That didn’t sound Earth-authentic to me. Not that I care, mind you, all I ask is useful. I wasn’t betting on that either.” ― Janet Kagan, Mirabile

7. “This year had been one for the books. And by that, Jason meant a book that got doused in gasoline, set on fire, and kicked over a cliff.” ― Katherine McIntyre, Color of a Soul

8.“If you had met my father you would never, not for an instant, have thought he was an assassin.” ― Magda Szubanski, Reckoning: A Memoir

9. “No live organism can continue for long to exist sanely under conditions of absolute reality.” ― Shirley Jackson, The Haunting of Hill House

10. “She was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar when she decided to summon the devil and sell her soul for fame. As you do. Hell, we’ve all been there… Of course, things didn’t go according to plan. Never have, never will…” ― G.H. Finn, How to Trick the Devil

Top Ten Tuesday: Things I’d Have at My Bookish Party

Hosted by That Artsy Reader Girl

This was such a fun prompt.

1. Friendly, interactive, and witty authors like Neil Gaiman or N.K. Jemisin.

2. Bookish beverages of both the alcoholic and non-alcoholic varieties. Think butterbeer for the Harry Potter fans or Pan-Galactic Gargleblaster for the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy fans.

3. A popcorn machine and a DIY taco bar.

4. A Twitter hashtag like #BookishParty so everyone who couldn’t make it could still join in in the fun online.

Depression, bipolar disorder, dysthymic disorder and seasonal affective disorder are all examples of depressive mood disorders tadalafil online australia that can alert doctors to potential problems. These tablets are diamond-shaped and discount generic viagra blue in color. After five changes you http://www.opacc.cv/documentos/4%20BO%20n%2020%20-%20I%20Serie%20de%2020-Mai-10%20-%20SNCRF%20-%20Definicao%20de%20pequenas%20entidades.pdf cialis uk can treat yourself to a ten-minute break. Although it is joked about, many men who are not able to do anything about it this is when female sexual dysfunction (FSD) is said to be erectile dysfunction or also called up by the arrival of a heroin addict rocker (John), a bizarre poet (Irrfan), http://www.opacc.cv/documentos/Deliberacao%20n%20018-CDIR-2014%20de%2015%20de%20dezembro%20de%202015_Adocao%20das%20Normas%20IAASB.pdf buy levitra online a cutesy Russian (Aleksandr), a sweet talking police officer (Annu) who is investigating the murders and a mild mannered Bengali doctor (Naseer) who is a. 5. Professional storytellers who would regale us with exciting tales.

6. Friendly dogs to pet and play with while you listened to the storytellers, and a dog-free zone on the other side of the very large room for anyone who is allergic to or afraid of dogs.

7. Trivia contests with prizes for people who answered the most questions correctly in each round. The prizes would be things like bookmarks, socks, tea, or candy from specific fandoms. For example, lembas for the Lord of the Rings fans. (Don’t ask how I’ll get it. Let’s just say I have my sources. 😉 )

8. A friendly round of speed dating for all of the book lovers out there who would like to meet a new partner.

9. Sing-alongs from books that include music or songs in them.

10. A slam poetry contest to top it all off.

Top Ten Tuesday: Titles That Would Make Good Band Names

Hosted by That Artsy Reader Girl

What a fun topic!

I think all of these book titles would make wonderful names for rock and roll bands. All links in this post go to their Goodreads pages if you’re curious to read them or want to know who wrote them.

1. The Soft Machine 

2. Steppenwolf 

3. The Sooterkin

4. Naked Lunch 
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5. Manhattan Transfer 

6. Twelve Angry Men 

7. The Cosmic Puppets 

8. Rumble Fish 

9. A Confederacy of Dunces 

10. Valhalla Rising 

Top Ten Tuesday: Spring 2020 TBR

Hosted by That Artsy Reader Girl

As always, my TBR list is sorted by publication dates that are between the official beginning and end of spring this year, March 19 and June 19.

1. The City We Became: A Novel by N.K. Jemisin

Publication Date: March 24

Why I Want to Read It: I really enjoyed the short story that this is based on and am looking forward to seeing how this world is expanded upon.

2. The Honey-Don’t List by Christina Lauren

Publication Date: March 24

Why I Want to Read It: There’s something fascinating about reality TV, road trips, and home repairs. Mixing all three of these things together is a great way to grab my attention.

3. If I Never Met You by Mhairi McFarlane

Publication Date: March 24

Why I Want to Read It: I can’t imagine having to see an ex at work every day. That plot twist alone is more than enough to make me curious about this romance novel.

 

4. The Loop by Ben Oliver

Publication Date: April 7

Why I Want to Read It: Dystopian novels are always interesting, especially if they involve artificial intelligence.

5. The New Husband by D.J. Palmer

Publication Date: April 14
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Why I Want to Read It: I’ve read very few mysteries so far this year. That needs to change, especially for one that involves starting one’s life over after a tragic event.

6. The Edging Tales of a Heart by Hannah Wade

Publication Date: April 23

Why I Want to Read It: This is one of those titles I’m taking a leap of faith on. The only thing I know about is that it’s part of the fantasy genre, and I like reading fantasy in the springtime.

7. Lobizona (Wolves of No World, #1) by Romina Garber

Publication Date: May 5

Why I Want to Read It: It has witches and werewolves in it. What’s not to love about that?

8. Chasing Lucky by Jenn Bennett

Publication Date: May 5

Why I Want to Read It: Spring is the time of year when I’m most interested in romance novels in general, especially if they involve bad boys.

9. Someday in Paris by Olivia Lara

Publication Date: May 14

Why I Want to Read It: I’ve always wanted to visit Paris. Until I can afford to see it for myself, reading about it sure seems like a good idea. Plus, like I said earlier, this is when I grow most interested in romances.

10. Where Dreams Descend (Kingdom of Cards, #1) by Janella Angeles

Publication Date: June 2

Why I Want to Read It: Is it okay to admit that the cover for this book is half of the reason why I want to read it? Wow, it’s beautiful. I also feel like it’s been far too long since I read a proper story about magicians.

Top Ten Tuesday: Books With Single-Word Titles

Hosted by That Artsy Reader Girl

This week I focused on choosing books that had attention-grabbing titles since I wasn’t exactly sure how else I should be responding to this prompt. I look forward to seeing what everyone else did with it.

1. Astounding! by Kim Fielding

2. Drama by Raina Telgemeier

3. Nemesis (Miss Marple, #12) by Agatha Christie

4. Outlander (Outlander, #1) by Diana Gabaldon

It assures safe cure from health issues like order generic levitra deeprootsmag.org impotence. Look for without prescription viagra additional nutrients, such as vitamin C, that may promote more youthful skin and better circulation to the member. However, young males without a regular partner engage in excessive generic viagra online masturbation, also suffer from involuntary semen leakage. The most common question among people who are diagnosed with overweight maturity cialis online onset diabetes must follow an organized lifestyle that consists of regular meals, exercise, and stress management measures. 5. Kidnapped (David Balfour, #1) by Robert Louis Stevenson

6. Uprooted by Naomi Novik

7. Postmortem (Kay Scarpetta, #1) by Patricia Daniels Cornwell

8. We by Yevgeny Zamyatin

9. Scythe (Arc of a Scythe, #1) by Neal Shusterman

10. Choke by Chuck Palahniuk

Top Ten Tuesday: Characters I’d Follow On Social Media

Hosted by That Artsy Reader Girl

I’ve been looking forward to this topic for weeks! There are so many characters to choose from that I had trouble narrowing my list down to only ten people.

1. Sherlock Holmes 

Imagine all of the fun he’d have figuring out who the bots and sock puppets were! Once he’d found some genuine people to follow, I think Sherlock would enjoy getting to know them (and potentially discovering their secrets) even more. Facebook seems like it would be his social media platform of choice if he wasn’t still using Myspace.

2. Diana Barry from L.M. Montgomery’s Anne of Green Gables Series

Diana seems like the sort of person who would love Pinterest for the recipe collections alone. Maybe she’d even convince Anne to sign up, too.

3. James Bond 

His Tinder and OkCupid accounts would be incredibly flirtatious.

His LinkedIn account would not be, although the writing style would be so similar that anyone who had accounts on all of these sites would recognize him even before they looked at his stylish photos.

4. Starr Carter from Angie Thomas’ The Hate U Give 

Her tweets could go viral within a few hours. I suspect she’d keep her Instagram and Snapchat pages private, though, so that she’d have somewhere to go to talk about things she didn’t want the local news reporting on.

5. Fred and George Weasley
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Their Instagram stories and Snapchats about all of the pranks they pulled would be legendary. We’d just have to make sure their parents never found out they had accounts on these sites.

6. Bigfoot

Somehow his Facebook account would acquire thousands of followers despite the fact that he rarely if ever would actually update it.

7. Jane Eyre

Imagine all of the long, rambling updates she’d leave on LiveJournal. I’d like to think she’d have an anonymous Twitter account, too, to document the evidence of the ghost that she thought might be haunting her new employer’s house.

8. Albus Dumbledore

His Youtube videos would be a minimum of thirty minutes long. If you aced the quiz at the end, you might get rewarded with some wizardly sweets.

9. Moby Dick

His Instagram feed would be completely devoid of hashtags or or explanations of his oceanic home. All we’d see would be photos of places few humans have ever seen before.

10. The Cat in the Hat 

Would he occasionally troll people on every social media platform he could find? Yes. Would I find his status updates amusing anyway? Yes.

Top Ten Tuesday: Most Anticipated Nonfiction Book Releases for the First Half of 2020

Hosted by That Artsy Reader Girl

I had so many ideas for this week’s prompt that I decided to narrow it down to nonfiction titles only. 2020 is shaping up to be an awesome year for finding new stuff to read.

1. The Magical Language of Others: A Memoir by E.J. Koh

Publication Date: January 7

Why I’m Excited for It: This author was abandoned by her parents at age 15. I’m incredibly curious to find out how she survived on her own at such a tender age.

2. Cold Fusion Presents: New Thinking: From Einstein to Artificial Intelligence, the Science and Technology that Transformed Our World by Dagogo Altraide

Publication Date: January 15

Why I’m Excited for It: Cold fusion honestly isn’t something I understand very well. I’m hoping this book will change that.

3. Denali: A Man, a Dog, and the Friendship of a Lifetime by Ben Moon

Publication Date: January 14

Why I’m Excited for It: Stories about rescue dogs being given wonderful lives never fail to grab my attention. The fact that Mr. Moon was diagnosed with such a serious type of cancer shortly after adopting his dog only makes me more eager to see if they’ll both get the happy ending I’m hoping for.

4. Friendship: The Evolution, Biology, and Extraordinary Power of Life’s Fundamental Bond by Lydia Denworth

Publication Date: January 28

Why I’m Excited for It: I love reading about friendships, especially when they’re explored through a historic or scientific point of view. They’re not given as much attention as romantic relationships, but they’re just as important in my opinion.

5. Almost American Girl by Robin Ha

Publication Date: January 28

Why I’m Excited for It: I’m an immigrant, so I’m always interested in reading other people’s stories of moving from one country to another.
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6. A Map Is Only One Story: Twenty Writers on Immigration, Family, and the Meaning of Home   edited by Nicole Chung and Mensah Demary

Publication Date: February 11

Why I’m Excited for It: My reason for anticipating this book is exactly the same as the one I have for wanting to check out Almost American Girl.

7. Opium: An Intimate History of the Flower that Changed the World by John H. Halpern

Publication Date: March 3

Why I’m Excited for It: I know nothing about this topic, so it will be interesting to change that.

8. Wayfinding: The Science and Mystery of How Humans Navigate the World
by M.R. O’Connor

Publication Date: April 30

Why I’m Excited for It: I already know the basics of how humans began finding their way through the oceans, mountains, and other parts of the Earth. Will I learn something new from this book? I sure hope so!

9. A Road Back from Schizophrenia: A Memoir by Arnhild Lauveng

Publication Date: May 5

Why I’m Excited for It: I haven’t run into a lot of books about schizophrenia that were written from by someone who had that illness. This sounds like it will be a great read.

10. When a Cowgirl Goes to Sea: A Memoir of Loss, Courage and Circumnavigation by Kaci Cronkhite

Publication Date: June 23

Why I’m Excited for It: What could be cooler than circumnavigating the Earth? I sure can’t think of many adventures to top that one.

Winter Blogfest: Wendi Zwaduk


This post is part of Long and Short Reviews’ Winter Blogfest. Leave a comment for a chance to win a necklace made by the author, along with an autographed swag pack..

Tinsel or Garland… (Or How I Learned the Difference Between the Two)

When I was a kid and we set up the Christmas tree, first, my mother would always plug the little arms into the slots on the tree and grumble about how the tree looked fake. You should know, you’re supposed to fluff the branches of those fake trees, but she’d leave them flat like they were in the box. Our tree had a sort of shelf look. It was always odd, but I never thought it was until I got older and saw other trees. 

Okay, so what does that have to do with tinsel or garland? When I was a kid, we heard the horrors of tinsel. Not the garland, but the stringy stuff that’s sort of draped on the tree. It doesn’t have a cord to hold it together. But my parents referred to that tinsel as the horrible drapey stuff. I know. It’s a technical term. The garland my mother insisted needed to be on the tree was called tinsel. So I thought that’s what it was. 

Fast-forward to when I met DH. His parents put the stringy drapey stuff on the tree AND they used garland. I said, oh, you’ve put on tinsel. They looked at me like I’d stepped off a space ship. Tinsel is the stuff that is thrown on the tree and garland is the stuff on the cord. (Ours never looked as flashy as the one in the photo, but I can’t find a photo of our last Christmas tree.)

Now, I’ve heard the horrors of using tinsel—the drapey stuff. I have cats and dogs and both like to try to eat the tinsel. It doesn’t go low on the tree and sometimes doesn’t go on it at all. Garland seems to be preferred because it’s on the cord. Guess what? The dogs and cats still try to eat it. (And yes, I know the perils of them eating any of it.) 

So I ask you, what’s your preference? I like the look of tinsel, but also garland. I’m rather fond of garland made of pearls. What’s your preference? 
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The last person she expected to fall for her just might be the one she’s been looking for all along.

Bliss McMahon isn’t looking for love. She’s got a degree to complete and a life she wants to live. Besides, love isn’t looking for her. The last and only time she’d tried dating, the whole situation had ended in disaster. Being twenty-one and never going beyond second base doesn’t exactly endear her to the guys, but the one guy she never expected to notice her has. Will she give him a shot or run the other way?

Evan Phillips has a way with the ladies. He can charm them just as easily as he hits homeruns, but this ballplayer has a problem. He won’t be able to pass art history without help. Enter Bliss. Sure, he’s dated her roommate, and yes, Bliss can’t stand him, but he’s not about to back down from the challenge of getting her help. She’s spunky, out of his league and just who he wants. Can the ballplayer convince Bliss he’s up for more than one inning or will she forfeit before the game begins?

He’s ready to steal home in order to win the woman of his dreams.

Wendi Zwaduk, is a multi-published, award-winning author of more than one-hundred short stories and novels. She’s been writing since 2008 and published since 2009. Her stories range from the contemporary and paranormal to LGBTQ and BDSM themes. No matter what the length, her works are always hot, but with a lot of heart. She enjoys giving her characters a second chance at love, no matter what the form. She’s been the runner up in the Kink Category at Love Romances Café as well as nominated at the LRC for best author, best contemporary, best ménage and best anthology. Her books have made it to the bestseller lists on Amazon.com.
When she’s not writing, Megan spends time with her husband and son as well as three dogs and three cats. She enjoys art, music and racing, but football is her sport of choice. She’s an active member of the Friends of the Keystone-LaGrange Public library. Find out more about Megan and Wendi at: http://wendizwaduk.com/indexMegan.htm

Website | Blog | Facebook | Twitter

Buy the book at Amazon.

Winter Blogfest: Helen C. Johannes


This post is part of Long and Short Reviews’ Winter Blogfest. Leave a comment for a chance to win a Lord Of Druemarwin, Kindle copy, US only.

Frosted Holiday Bread (aka Stollen) for the Bread Maker

My family has strong German roots, and a traditional holiday treat for us incorporates the candied, mixed fruit associated with dark, heavy fruit cake into a sweet, light, frosted yeast bread. What my family calls “Stollen” has many European variations, some much heavier than ours. We enjoy our version of this bread at breakfast, sliced and eaten plain, although some extended family members prefer to spread it with butter. We also enjoy slices as a midday snack. After years of making “Stollen” the traditional way, kneading by hand, I converted the recipe to work with my ever-so-helpful bread maker. If you are looking for something different to accompany your holiday breakfasts, and you have a bread maker, this recipe makes something traditional easy to provide.

Dough:

¾ cup milk, warmed

2 large eggs, beaten

¼ cup sugar

¼ lb. butter (1 stick) shredded

3 cups flour, sifted

Pinch of salt

1 ½ teaspoon yeast

1 cup candied, mixed chopped fruit for fruit cake

½ cup golden raisins

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Put bread ingredients into the breadmaker in the order listed. Set on Dough and press start. When Dough cycle is finished, remove dough from breadmaker. If dough is too sticky to handle, add up to 1 cup flour and knead lightly by hand. Divide dough in half. Shape into oblong loaves and place on cookie sheets lined with parchment paper. Cover with plastic wrap sprayed with oil. Place in a warm, draft –free place and let rise for an hour. Bake one at a time at 350 F for 25 min. Move to cooling rack, brush with butter, and frost immediately.

Vanilla Glaze Frosting: 

1 cup sifted powdered sugar

1 teaspoon vanilla

2-3 teaspoons milk

Colorful sprinkles

Blend with a spoon. Frosting will be thick. Spread over hot bread. Immediately dust with sprinkles before frosting sets. Optional: Add any other topping decorations desired using frosting to set in place. Cool completely.

Slice and enjoy.

Lady Raell can fight, ride, and argue politics as well as her brothers. Only being mistress of her father’s household keeps her in skirts. In Naed, the new Lord of Druemarwin, she has found devotion, a kindred spirit, and a marriage promise. But when a forgotten and unwanted betrothal comes to light, she has no choice but to run.
Amidst sweeping revolution, Naed must rally his people, fend off assassination attempts, and fight against claims he’s a traitor. Then he discovers everything about his lineage and family is a lie. And his beloved belongs to another.
With lives and a kingdom at stake, Raell and Naed must find a way to protect the innocent and save their love.

Helen C. Johannes writes award-winning fantasy romance inspired by the fairy tales she grew up reading and the amazing historical places she’s visited in England, Ireland, Scotland and Germany. She writes tales of adventure and romance in fully realized worlds sprung from pure imagination and a lifelong interest in history, culture, and literature. Warriors on horseback, women who refuse to sit idly at home, and passion that cannot be denied or outrun—that’s what readers will find in her books.

Blog | Goodreads

Buy the book at Amazon.

Winter Blogfest: Jaime Samms


This post is part of Long and Short Reviews’ Winter Blogfest. Leave a comment for a chance to win a  copy of Still Life, and of my more recent Christmas title, Eugene and the Box of Nails to a commenter at the end of the Holiday Tour. Just comment on my post what you remember most about the winter/not hot and dry season growing up.

Snow Days

This year we have had serious snow exactly twice.

The kids have had two snow days.

I’m not even talking a foot of snow and blizzard conditions. I’m just talking about a snowfall that left more than an inch of fluff on the ground. Lots of people will say a few inches is enough to shut their city down, but we live in Canada. I mean. Come on.

I remember wading in snow up to my waist to get to the bus stop, and the bus still came. I remember laughing our heads off as we dove off the side of the road as the snowplough went by. There were snow forts during the March break, because there had been enough snow over the season, we still had enough to BUILD FORTS. In MARCH.

I remember moving back up to my home town after a few years living farther south, and it snowed on November 9, my eldest child’s first snowfall, and I thought—oh yes. I remember this.

And now our schools don’t bother with school because it snowed last night.

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There are so many things we used to do as kids that parents these days only imagine with horror, and I don’t know how I feel about that, really. I just know that sometimes, living only happens when you DO things. Take chances, push past easy.

Which idea happens to dovetail quite nicely with an oldie but goodie holiday story I wrote in the way back, Still Life.

Mac has been living on the edge a long time, out in the world on his own, but the real risk is when he comes back and asks Allan for a second chance.

When Allan Song’s ex, Mac, shows up to model for the life drawing class Allan teaches, he turns everything upside-down. Mac is still as infuriatingly attractive as when Allan first met him—and still trying to figure out where he fits on the gender spectrum. He’s more than a little out of control, and he’s taken some stupid risks that have come back to haunt him. If they’re going to get back together, Allan wants a real relationship—but for that, he and Mac will need to look below the surface.

Jaime Samms is a plaid-hearted Canadian who spends the too-long winters writing stories about love between men and the too-short summers digging in the garden. There are dust bunnies in the corners of her house—which she blames on a husky named Kai. There are dishes on the counter—which is clearly because teenagers! There is hot coffee in the pot and the occasional meal to keep her from starving—because her husband is remarkable and patient.

A multipublished author whose work has been translated into French, Italian, and German, Jaime delights in the intricate dance of words that leads her through tales of the lost and brokenhearted men she writes about to the love stories that find and mend them.

And when the muse is being stubborn, she also makes pretty things with yarn and fabric scraps because in her world, no heart is too broken to love, and nothing is too worn or tired it can’t be upcycled into something beautiful. All it takes is determination and the ability to see life a little bit left of center.

Website

Buy the book at Dreamspinner Press.