Long and Short Reviews welcomes K.A. Mitchell who is visiting with us today to celebrate the recent release of Bad Behavior, book 5 in her Bad in Baltimore series.
They should be something from Dr. Suess, but they’re not.
Way back when I was fourteen, I read my mother’s copy of Shanna by Kathleen E. Woodiwiss. I loved it. Shanna was a different sort of heroine; she was the one who needed redeeming. She was the flawed character. Most romance heroines were supposed to suffer graciously. Shanna didn’t. She begins the book as Shanna Trahern and is later Shanna Beauchamp. I mention this because of one of my favorite Shanna moments: Someone rudely calls her that “Trahern bitch” behind her back. Shanna overhears and corrects her. “Tis Madam Beauchamp now. Madam Ruark Beauchamp, if you please, or if you don’t please, the Beauchamp bitch.”
I loved that clap back. But at fourteen, I read it wrong. It would have flowed a lot better if I’d known then that Beauchamp was not pronounced Bo-chahmp the way my ninth grade French tried to hear it, but Bee-chum. Now “the Beauchamp bitch” totally rolls off my tongue, mentally at least.
I loved that line and the name stuck in my head. I had a character who was just supposed to be a wealthy party boy getting his best friend Gavin (from Bad Attitude) in trouble. I never expected David Beauchamp to wake up from the coma that adventure put him in. But he did. He was flawed and bratty (even at 34) so I think Shanna would be proud of her literary descendent.
Now when I pick a name, I think about how it will sound in a reader’s head, so I try to make sure I know the correct pronunciation.
There are a lot of surnames out there, especially ones that come from the British Isles where the spelling and the pronunciation don’t match. Wikipedia says they’re heterophones. (Not to be confused with heterophobic, which my character Eli is often accused of being by other characters). Another way names that have a counterintuitive pronunciation come into play is as shibboleths, which in addition to other meanings serves as a way of separating the “in” crowd from the “out” crowd because the cool people pronounce things the “right” way. Shibboleths also distinguish locals vs. non-locals. For example, I know if someone pronounces a nearby town as Colony they’re not from here. We all say ColoNEE in these parts. (Colonie, NY).
So, in honor of David Aiken Beauchamp (and Shanna and Ruark), I thought I’d share five of my other favorite heterophones/shibboleths/counterintuitive surname pronunciations.
St. John
In England, it’s pronounced Sinjun, which is way sexier to say than it looks. I could totally see a hero with it as a first name. David’s uncle is Sinclair (St. Clair) but Uncle Sinclair is kind of a jerk, so that takes the shine off it.
Fotheringay This one is pronounced Fongy. I don’t know if that’s because humans are just too lazy to labor over all those extra letters or because it’s just cooler that way. I always think of Bertie Wooster talking about his friend Cyril Fotheringay-Phipps. That’s a mouthful.
Cockburn
Okay, I can totally see why if this was your last name you’d have to tell everyone it was really pronounced Co-burn. Can you imagine how many people react to someone with this name by smirking and saying, “You should see a doctor for that”?
Pepys
Needing medicine for erectile dysfunction already makes a husband feel like less than a man, adding to this the possible loss of a job that pays decent sums generic viagra line http://www.aimhousepatong.com/gallery.html and better growth prospects. Other men were http://aimhousepatong.com/item4864.html generic cialis on line only when they wanted to have sex. You can also confirm the legality and reputation of the pharmacy by going to online forums and discount viagra india reading their reviews. The stomach and the colon viagra purchase online are given a lot of attention the last few years. Since there’s a famous guy with this name, I’ve seen it a lot. Unfortunately, it’s not very peppy, or even like Pepe Le Pew. It’s pronounced Peeps. I would have gone with Peppys. More fun.
I saved my favorite for last. I used to work a job that required me to write names on ever smaller forms for a sporting event. I dreaded seeing this one. I have no idea how this weird heterophone happened. Maybe someone’s grandfather was just messing around and it stuck. Ready?
Featherstonehaugh (try writing that legibly on a centimeter-long line)
How do you pronounce this 17-letter appellation?
Fanshaw. Seriously? All that for Fanshaw?
As a writer, I collect names. I can never tell when one will inspire a character or finally give a name to a character who desperately needs just the right one. Still I think I’ll pass on these. Except for St. John, because that still sounds sexy to me.
You can see what happens to David Beauchamp (better known as Beach) and Toluaotai Fonoti (better known as Tai—and there’s a story there too!) in Bad Behavior. Now available.
In a lifetime of yes, no is the sexiest word he’s ever heard.
After one too many misunderstandings with the law, wealthy and spoiled David Beauchamp finds himself chained to the city by the GPS and alcohol sensor strapped to his ankle. Awaiting trial, cut off from usual forms of entertainment, he goes looking for a good time—and winds up with his hands full, in more ways than one. The situation only gets more complicated when he’s summoned for a random drug test and comes face-to-face with the dominant man who took him for one hell of a ride the night before.
Probation Officer Tai Fonoti is used to handling other people’s problems, but he’s horrified when one of the extra clients his boss dumps on him is the sweet piece of ass he screwed the night before. It makes getting a urine sample a pretty loaded situation. Tai’s unique brand of discipline has Beach craving more. But while Tai relishes laying down the law in the bedroom, the letter of the law stands between them and kinkily ever after….
About the Author:K.A. Mitchell discovered the magic of writing at an early age when she learned that a carefully crayoned note of apology sent to the kitchen in a toy truck would earn her a reprieve from banishment to her room. Her career as a spin-control artist was cut short when her family moved to a two-story house and her trucks would not roll safely down the stairs. Around the same time, she decided that Ken and G.I. Joe made a much cuter couple than Ken and Barbie and was perplexed when invitations to play Barbie dropped off. She never stopped making stuff up, though, and was thrilled to find out that people would pay her to do it. Although the men in her stories usually carry more emotional baggage than even LAX can lose in a year, she guarantees they always find their sexy way to a happy ending.
K.A. loves to hear from her readers. You can email her at ka@kamitchell.com. She is often found talking about her imaginary friends on Twitter @ka_mitchell.
Buy the book at Amazon, Dreamspinner Press, or Barnes and Noble.
How can heartbreak turn into happily ever after?
Andrew grew up in western Michigan with a father who loved to tell stories and a mother who loved to read them. Since then he has lived throughout the country and traveled throughout the world. He has a master’s degree from the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee and works in information systems for a large corporation.
Long and Short Reviews welcomes 
Blood and Eternity features three timelines, or “timestreams”: the original timestream Adrien lives in which is chronicled in Blood and Rain, the timestream Adrien inadvertently changes when he’s sent back to a time before he ever met Nicolas we first experience in Blood and Ghosts, and finally, a confusing new future Adrien finds himself at the end of the second book Keeping all of these straight, and keeping them understandable for the reader, was a monumental task. How did I do it? With a lot of input from my wonderful beta readers and my Dreamspinner Press editors. Oh, and a crap ton of rewriting! In fact, I rewrote the ending of the final series book more than a half-dozen times!
Adrien meets three versions of Nicolas in the series: the Nicolas he originally fell in love with, the Nicolas whose life he changes when Adrien finds himself in his own teenage past, and a Nicolas of the future who has never met Adrien. Writing each Nicolas was a great deal of fun. At his heart (or soul, as the vampires would say), each Nicolas is the same. But events and choices can change and shape a person, for better or worse.
Blood and Eternity ends with a happily-ever-after after plenty of trials and tribulations. Together, Adrien and Nicolas sacrifice a great deal to find their happiness. I hope you’ll enjoy their story and the conclusion of the series. I’ll leave you with an excerpt from the first book (no spoilers here!). Don’t forget to comment on the post to be entered to win the cool spooky bracelet! –Shira
It’s summertime, the perfect season for another trip to Cozzi Cove: the magical place where nothing is what it seems and romance is always in the sea air. Welcome back to hunky Cal Cozzi’s seven guest bungalows on the New Jersey Shore. This summer Cal is visited by Kevin Donovan, a handsome man from his past who makes Cal a tempting offer to buy Cozzi Cove and provide financial security to Cal and Michael’s baby. Cal’s Wall Street sister, Taylor, has hopped aboard Kevin’s green wagon. However, Cal’s husband, Michael, and Taylor’s wife, Carla, aren’t convinced, sensing something much deeper in Kevin’s offer than meets the roving eye. Cal’s exhibitionist new houseboy, Carlos, is smitten with Cal’s sweet-faced nanny, Alfred, who carries a shocking secret in his magic Mormon underwear. Middle-aged matchmaker Gilead has matched guests Marine Master Sergeant Matt Pummel and much younger businessman Keone Paoa to the chagrin of cute young lawyer Luis Lui. As skeletons come out of their closets, the bears and cubs search for their true honey. Woodsy guest Nyx Oberon meets a sexy werewolf at the cove and they share a howling moonlit night. Nyx believes his newfound lover could be part of a much larger plan that would change his life and the world forever. Will Cal, his family, and his guests have happy endings? It’s Cozzi Cove after all.
Ben is looking for an adventure when he accepts a temporary assignment in Hong Kong, but he never anticipated how his life might change when he meets a sophisticated older man named Sai. Their initial attraction is sizzling and soon grows into more as Sai takes Ben on a tour of the city’s famous landmarks and introduces him to the local cuisine. Sai stimulates Ben’s intellect and curiosity, and for jaded corporate lawyer Sai, Ben’s innocent eagerness is a breath of fresh air. It would be so easy to fall in love….
Grilled Hawaiian Chicken Teriyaki Bowls: This recipe from 
Coconut Shrimp with Spicy Peach Dipping Sauce: Another of my favorite summer flavors is peaches and this combination from 
Lights, camera… wardrobe?
Add two parts sass and one part sweet and you have Poppy Dennison to a T—sweet tea that is. Raised by a gaggle of Southern women who love reading and have backbones of steel, Poppy was brought up to see the best in people but always speak her mind. Mix it all together, like Grandma’s famous cobbler, and you get a sassy, Southern lady with a quick wit and loads of charm, who will soften any blow with “Bless your heart.”
With a new species of vampire stalking the streets, the stakes are high. But that’s not the only reason hearts are on the line.
Rayna Vause is a lifetime learner who wants to live on a Disney cruise ship travelling the world and thinks purple should be considered a natural hair color. She’s fascinated by the magic and mystery in the world; things like psychics, demons, cats (especially cats!) and true love. A proud geek, she injects some of her science and tech-obsessed soul into every story she writes. When not writing she’s pursuing another degree, running a conference, working through her massive TBR pile, losing herself in a video game, and plotting her next novel. 
Dustin Robbins-Grayson was a surly adolescent when Quinlan Gregory started the nanny gig. After a rocky start, he grew into Quinlan’s friend and confidant—and a damned sexy man.
Award winning wool-gather, Amy Lane lives in a crumbling crapmansion with the children who are still growing, a fur-baby mafia, and a bemused spouse. She has too damned much yarn, a penchant for action adventure movies, and a need to know that somewhere in all the pain is a story of Wuv, Twu Wuv, which she continues to believe in to this day! She writes fantasy, urban fantasy, and gay romance–and if you accidentally make eye contact, she’ll bore you to tears with why those three genres go together. She’ll also tell you that sacrifices, large and small, are worth the urge to write.
Stealing his heart.
