Welcome to Uncial Press!

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Uncial Press offers a variety of fiction genres, including Regency, historical and contemporary romance, mysteries, thrillers, and unusual fantasy, both romantic and epic. Occasionally we add a poetry collection or an interesting (and usually humorous) nonfiction work. We’ve been around since 2006 and plan on offering extraordinary ebooks far into the future. Find us at www.uncialpress.com, or look for our titles at most ebooksellers.

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Now enjoy a taste of their summer themed story, Summer Heat.

SummerHeatElectra Hamilton is expecting to welcome a lover. What she gets is his annoying, nerdy brother. The man has always made her uncomfortable, always disapproved of her and, frankly, drives her stark-staring crazy. Yet all her friends seem to think he is perfect husband material.

Drew Bolinger knows that courting the woman he has secretly loved for years will be his toughest challenge yet. She thinks he’s an interfering know-it-all. She also happens to be his brother’s best friend. But when the sleepy town of Little Creek becomes a hotbed of intrigue and murder, Drew not only has to fight hard to keep a skeptical Electra safe, but convince her, at the same time, that he is her true hero.

Buy Summer Heat from Uncial Press.

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Welcome to Camel Press!

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CamelPress
Based in Seattle Washington, Camel Press is an imprint of Coffeetown Enterprises. Camel Press publishes genre fiction: romance, mystery/suspense, science fiction, and mystery. We publish the books that grab you and hold you in their grip long into the night.

http://camelpress.com
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We’re featuring one of their summer themed stories today.

SleepingDogsIt’s early August in Rosedale, Tennessee, and July December Powell is alone at the historic Booth Mansion, putting the finishing touches on the Showhouse room she designed for tomorrow’s grand opening. A loud noise draws her to the nursery, where a man lies dying. Not just any man, but Tom Ferris, the love of her life, who she hasn’t seen since he disappeared with no explanation some fifteen years earlier.

Who shot Tom in the back? What drove him away in the first place and made him stay away, even after his parents were killed in a car accident? What was he trying to tell July with his last breath?

The gossip mill is in high gear in the small town of Rosedale, and July is the sister of Mae, a dog breeder and kennel owner who happens to be dating the sheriff, Ben Bradley. Ben’s close relationship with the December family has thrown a wrench in his investigation, forcing him to rely on Detective Wayne Nichols, his deputies, and his office manager Dory to do most of the legwork. Meanwhile July’s marriage is imploding, and Mae already has too much to deal with—including a new corgi puppy and Ben’s four-year-old son. Mae is torn between loyalty to her boyfriend and her sister as she does her darndest to get the bottom of a case that just seems to involve more and more of their friends and neighbors.

Buy TWO DOGS LIE SLEEPING here: http://www.amazon.com/Dogs-Sleeping-December-Mystery-Book-ebook/dp/B00KFQPGBW/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1404334808&sr=8-1&keywords=two+dogs+lie+sleeping

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50 Shades of Fur by Missy Barkalot – Spotlight and Giveaway

This stop is part of a tour organized by Goddess Fish Promotions.  The author will be awarding a signed copy of 50 Shades of Fur by Missy Barkalot, as told to Belinda Stevens to a randomly drawn winner via the rafflecopter at the end of this post during the tour.

A delightful, yet somewhat bawdy “tail” about Missy Barkalot, a petite rust-colored long-haired Dachshund and the apple of her eye, Humphrey B (aka “Hump”), and the other characters, both dogs and cats, who are frequent guests at Doggie Bath. Missy is pursued by Ralph the Bulldog, but she only has eyes for Hump, who was seduced by the glamorous toy poodle, CoCo. It turns out CoCo was a victim of her environment, as her owner had some kinky habits using a gray tie. Bondage with leashes, bite marks, jive-talking cats and cross-dressing Dobermans – not to mention a Doggie Blues band – keep the story rolling as Missy Barkalot uses her feminine wiles to woo Hump away from CoCo. DoggieBath has a little bit of everything – sexual intrigue, rock-n-roll and blues – canine style, and of course, a little weed. This fun romp through the world of Missy and Hump make a “furfect” read! If you love animals, you will love “50 Shades Of Fur.”

Enjoy an excerpt:

You would think it was Valentine’s day, the way the romances were emerging among the guests at Doggie Bath. It was obvious something was going on between Roxie and Bubba. She followed him around without her herd of Spaniels and Bubba didn’t seem to mind. The two spent hours softly growling, licking each other’s faces and of course, you know. Everyone was happy they were an item, not to mention the welcomed end to cougar stalking. Without their leader, the over-the-hill gang disbanded. Those females started looking for fur separately.

Even Lance found love with a two-year-old German Shepherd. They shared a water bowl, and wore matching pink and purple outfits. Lance’s new love fit right in with the Blues Dogs. His name was Mozart and he was musical. It wasn’t long before he joined the group. Those paws of his could bang out some serious R & B on the ivories.

Belinda J. Stevens was born in Yazoo City, Mississippi, the gateway to the Mississippi Delta, in 1948. She grew up in the turbulent sixties, and has a true appreciation for the difficulties experienced Katherine in her first novel, “Just Out of Reach.” A radical departure from her first novel, her lastest effort is a fun parody, “50 Shades of Fur by Missy Barkalot, as told to Belinda Stevens.”

An attorney by profession, Belinda tells the story of young love and dark secrets in the world of the Doggie Bath. Canines, cats and even a skunk with a prestigious lineage converge for a bawdy “tale” that will keep you laughing.

Belinda is a graduate of Belhaven University and earned a Masters in Social Science and a Law Degree from Mississippi College. From 1987-1997 she served as Special Assistant to Mississippi Attorney General Mike Moore. She resides in Brandon, Mississippi with her dog Humprey B., and practices law in Yazoo City where she is a Public Defender.

Learn more about Belinda at www.belindastevens.com, or follow her on Facebook at www.facebook.com/belindastevensauthor.

You can order her book at http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=50%20Shades%20of%20Fur%2C%20Belinda%20Stevens

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Top Ten Tuesday: Ten Authors I Own The Most Books From

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Today, our reviewer, Thornapple, has offered up her “Ten Authors I Own The Most Books From”. Welcome, Thornapple!

Thanks for having me! When I signed on to do this post, I thought I had a pretty good idea of who would make my top ten list. One thing I should explain is that I collect vintage paperbacks. So, I have some large collections of some of my all time favorite authors. I couldn’t decide if I should leave those out or include them. I decided to add a few of the collections but mostly these are authors I have on my kindle or have saved my favorite books by them. Some the authors that made the list was surprising to me. I had no idea I had that many books by some of these authors.

So, without further ado: Starting at number ten…

10) Martha Grimes. I have the entire Richard Jury Series!

09) Barbara Michaels. ( aka Elizabeth Peters) I have a huge Gothic collection and Barbara was one of the best, I also have a large collection of her Amelia Peabody novels written under the Elizabeth Peters name

08) Dick Francis. One of my favorite British Mystery Series. I don’t have all of his work, but I have most of them.

07) Christina Dodd. Now this was a surprise. Christiana has written quite a few historical romances, as well as paranormal and romantic suspense. I have saved quite a few of her historical novels. I do not have the infamous 3 armed cover–check that out-it’s legendary.

06) Stephen King. Okay, no surprises there except that I guess I haven’t actually saved many of his books.

05) Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. This is a collection and I’m still working on it, but I have quite a number of Sherlock Holmes books, some are in a very nice collectors volume my son got me for Christmas one year.

04) Julia Quinn. Another head scratcher. I didn’t know I had kept so many of these. Julia is, along with Eloisa James one of my favorite regency period authors.

03) Sherrilyn Kenyon. If you have not read Sherrilyn Kenyon you might not get it. But, trust me when I say this is one popular author. If you manage to keep all the books she has written and try really hard to keep them in mint condition, you might have a small fortune on your hands. One of the best in Paranormal Romance.

02) Rex Stout. Sort of a surprise to me. I have collected Nero Wolfe novels for awhile, but I has no idea my collection was so large. I am really pleased to see I had so many because unless you want to pay a fortune for them on Ebay, they are really hard to find.

And the winner is…Drumroll please… A tie!! I know, what a rip off. However I have to be honest and this may be a little anti climatic, and no surprise to most…

01) Nora Roberts/ J.D. Robb. I have nearly all of the Eve Dallas “In Death” series and many, many, many Nora Roberts novels. I have collected the older Nora Roberts and still have quite a few of her paperbacks but I mostly have these in digital because I love her stories but simply do not have room for a collection of her books. Nora is the queen of romance–she can write anything: contemporary, romantic suspense, paranormal, and even science fiction.

So, there you have it folks- the strangest top ten list in history!! What’s on your bookshelf?

The Unholy by Paul DeBlassie III — Excerpt and Giveaway

 

This post is part of a virtual book tour organized by Goddess Fish Promotions. One randomly drawn commenter will receive a $50 Amazon or BN gift card. The Rafflecopter is at the end of this post.

A young curandera, a medicine woman, intent on uncovering the secrets of her past is forced into a life-and-death battle against an evil Archbishop. Set in the mystic land of Aztlan, The Unholy is a novel of destiny as healer and slayer. Native lore of dreams and visions, shape changing, and natural magic work to spin a neo-gothic web in which sadness and mystery lure the unsuspecting into a twilight realm of discovery and decision.

Enjoy this excerpt:

Lightning streaked across a midnight dark sky, making the neck hairs of a five-year-old girl crouched beneath a cluster of twenty-foot pines in the Turquoise Mountains of Aztlan stand on end. The long wavy strands of her auburn mane floated outward with the static charge. It felt as though the world was about to end.

Seconds later, lightning struck a lone tree nearby and a crash of thunder shook the ground. Her body rocked back and forth, trembling with terror. She lost her footing, sandstone crumbling beneath her feet, and then regained it; still, she did not feel safe. There appeared to be reddish eyes watching from behind scrub oaks and mountain pines, scanning her every movement and watching her quick breaths. Then everything became silent.

The girl leaned against the trunk of the nearest tree. The night air wrapped its frigid arms tightly around her, and she wondered if she would freeze to death or, even worse, stay there through the night and by morning be nothing but the blood and bones left by hungry animals. Her breaths became quicker and were so shallow that no air seemed to reach her lungs. The dusty earth gave up quick bursts of sand from gusts of northerly winds that blew so fiercely into her nostrils that she coughed but tried to stifle the sounds because she didn’t want to be noticed.

About the Author:

Paul DeBlassie III, Ph.D., is a psychologist and writer living in Albuquerque who has treated survivors of the dark side of religion for more than 30 years. His professional consultation practice — SoulCare — is devoted to the tending of the soul. Dr. DeBlassie writes fiction with a healing emphasis. He has been deeply influenced by the mestizo myth of Aztlan, its surreal beauty and natural magic. He is a member of the Depth Psychology Alliance, the Transpersonal Psychology Association and the International Association for Relational Psychoanalysis and Psychotherapy.

Amazon Author Page ~ Website ~ Blog

Purchase the book from Amazon or BN.com.

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C.C. Humphreys — a guest blog

It is one of my favourite opening lines: “The End of Time came on a Wednesday – and Jack was missing it.”

As soon as I read that the English finally caught up with Continental time and switched from the Julian to the Gregorian calendar in 1752 I knew I wanted to write about it. It would provide the perfect start to my depiction of Jack, in that year a semi-feral abandoned child living with his wicked Uncle in Cornwall. He would not understand why they had to take away 11 days to balance the calendars. He would just want to greet the change in a typically English fashion: by rioting! ‘Give us back our 11 days’ was the cry as tax offices were burned and unlucky foreigners tarred and feathered.

I always wanted Jack to begin thus – a tough childhood that would, in the end, stand him in good stead when as a young man he goes to war. Between which I wanted the contrast I depict in The Blooding of Jack Absolute: his teens years spent as gifted but lazy scholar at Westminster School in London, indulging in all the fun and sinfulness that the City has to offer. A different kind of training indeed!

I think that is why I am so fond of this book. Taking him from boy to man, from tough beginnings thru’ wild teenage, to the grim reckonings of the French and Indian Wars. It is a true ‘first novel’ – even though it is the second, the prequel to ‘Jack Absolute’. It is funny, romantic as well as tragic. Ultimately I hope it develops a character into a certain nobility, albeit a man with serious flaws.

11_22The prequel to Jack AbsoluteThe Blooding of Jack Absolute: A Novel

The novel takes readers on a journey back in time through Jack Absolute’s youth in the home of his drunk and wicked uncle Duncan, and his equally wicked cousin Caster, to his escape to London.

During Jack’s years at Westminster, he’s a terror on the cricket field; a dashing rogue loved by the ladies, including the daughter of his French tutor and the mistress of a member of Parliament; and the leader of a band of schoolmates who fancy themselves a tribe of “Moyock.”

Jack’s bright future is shattered during a night of revelry when his past and present collide and force him to flee England and find his fate in the dangerous New World during the ruthless French and Indian War.

Amid hostile Indians, fierce colonial rivalries, and a brutal North American winter, Jack struggles for survival. But to survive, Jack must be blooded for life. He must learn to kill.

Humphreys’s riveting prequel answers many of the questions readers had about Jack Absolute’s past and showcases the stunning transformation of a young dreamer into a daring, larger-than-life hero.

11_22 image003C.C. Humphreys is a novelist, fight choreographer, and actor who played Jack Absolute in The Rivals for a six-month run in London in the mid-1980s. When he became a full-time writer a decade ago, he decided to transform his leading man into a title character. Humphreys has written seven historical fiction novels including The French Executioner, which was runner-up for the CWA Steel Dagger for Thrillers 2002. The Jack Absolute series features three books: Jack Absolute, The Blooding of Jack Absolute, and Absolute Honor.

Praise for Jack Absolute

“An absolute delight! Swashbuckling adventure, eighteenth-century wit, hugely entertaining plots, and one of the most appealing military gentlemen ever to wear a sword.”

—Diana Gabaldon, author of the Outlander and Lord John Grey series

“The author’s affectionate, theatrical tale sets up his dashing hero and faithful sidekick for a long series. Much derring-do, told with panache.” —Kirkus

“Humphreys combines historical detail, a larger-than-life hero, clever plotting, and fast pacing to craft a thoroughly entertaining historical adventure.” —Publishers Weekly

“Although full of intrigue and accurate historical detail, the novel is ultimately a straightforward adventure story that sends readers racing through the pages of Absolute’s improbable but exciting captures, escapes, and fight scenes.” —School Library Journal

“A great introduction to what will surely become a long-lasting series.” —Library Journal

“Humphreys’s acting background brings drama to life in Jack’s legendary tale.” —Booklist

“Imagine if Dan Brown were to write historical fiction starring Robert Downey Jr. as Sherlock Holmes. Got that? Now throw in a heavy dose of Shakespeare and theater humor, and you have this novel.” —Tara’s Book Blog

It’s the Little Things by Philip Johnsey + $50 Amazon GC Giveaway

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This post is part of a virtual book tour organized by Goddess Fish Promotions. Philip will be awarding a $50 Amazon GC to a randomly drawn commenter during the tour. Click on the tour banner to see the other stops on the tour.

It’s the Little Things
By Philip Johnsey

That’s not good enough, clean it again!” barked the officer. Wow, this guy is a real jerk, I thought as I watched the show unfold. A cadet in the armed forces was tasked with cleaning a bathroom and his last task was to clean a small glass. Nothing fancy, just a glass that someone would use to rinse out their mouth and spit.

The officer kept finding issues with the glass; a spot, lint, a streak, etc. The poor cadet had to clean it again, again, and again. Normally I don’t watch such shows, but at this point I was intrigued as to the outcome. The glass was not fine crystal and he was cleaning the bathroom in the barracks, not a 5 star hotel. What’s the point of being so anal? No one will care, let alone even notice.

Finally the glass passed inspection, but what happened next is what made it unforgettable. The officer explained that if the cadet demonstrated excellence in something as trivial as cleaning a glass, he could be trusted with anything.

I never forgot that lesson, although I must admit at times I forget to have that same level of excellence. Although I have proven that time and time again.

One evening after a long day of volunteering at a state park, we were cleaning up the education center. It had to be cleaned and ready for opening the next morning. The ranger told us not to worry because she’d come in early. I grabbed a vacuum cleaner and vacuumed that place as if it was my house. When we asked for a ride back to my truck, the ranger said “we know where you are, you’re the last car here”.

Two weeks later I showed up for a volunteer event and guess what happened. That same ranger needed leaders for groups and selected me first. She tossed me the keys to the park vehicle, gave me instructions and off I went. My friend was like “I’ve been here longer than you, how did you get that gig?” I’m pretty sure it had to do with spending the extra time to vacuum and do it correctly.

As I look around at what’s worked well and what has not, I realize that the attention I give to the little things determines the quality of the outcome. I know that sounds obvious, but I often neglect that when it’s something I don’t want to do or can’t see how it will make a difference. Yet how I perform in those moments often lays the best ground work.

In summary, paying attention and doing my best in the little things results in great results. It’s not always easy or glamorous, but in the end at least I know I did my best.

MEDIA KIT Pjohnsey_author_photo (2)Raised on a farm and having been a volunteer at different animal rescues, it’s no surprise that his first two published articles were about animals. So it’s only fitting that Phil’s first book is about animals and the connections we share.

From Phil’s first high school job to present, he’s spent his career working with clients, explaining complex ideas in an easy to understand manner. In addition Phil enjoys exploring the world and sharing those adventures via writing, photography, and videography.

Phil’s credits include, multiple certifications, Reiki master, photographer, author of two blogs, author of a travel column, creates short segments for a local T.V. station and whatever else he can get into.

Kirkus Review: https://www.kirkusreviews.com/book-reviews/philip-johnsey/climb-that-fence-and-take-that-leap/

Amazon:

http://www.amazon.com/Climb-that-Fence-take-Leap/dp/1478200162/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1371561944&sr=8-1&keywords=climb+that+fence+take+that+leap

Barnes and Noble:

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/climb-that-fence-and-take-that-leap-philip-johnsey/1114721387?ean=9781478200161

Createspace:

https://www.createspace.com/3923565

MEDIA KIT Pjohnsey_bookcover (2)Edmund blasts across the yard against my calls to come in. He gleely runs off and I chase him across the grass only to find a unique butterfly or a sky filled with stars. As soon as I stop and admire, Edmund promptly comes to my side and rubs against me.

Do you ever wonder if there is more to your pet’s behavior than meets the eye? Sometimes their antics are more than just random behavior. Can we learn something about ourselves by watching them?

I believe so and Climb that Fence take that Leap is a compilation of personal, inspirational animal stories and the life lessons I gleaned from them.

After enjoying these stories, hopefully you’ll enjoy more quality time with your furry friend and know what it takes to Climb that Fence and Take that Leap!

Play Twenty Questions: Question 20

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 Enjoy these answers from a host of authors in multiple genres, from YA to mystery to romance — then enter the Rafflecopter below for a chance to win a $100 Amazon or BN GC and more!

2013 Anniversary NON Questions 20
Tasarla Romaney  Duck Dynasty. I love Jace and Si. To sit and drink coffee with them would totally rock

Linda Palmer Reality shows are way too revealing. Though I’m a big fan of Survivor and Big Brother, no amount of money would make me be on either.

Debra St. John  I wouldn’t want to be a contestant, but I’d love to get a reservation for a meal at “Hell’s Kitchen”. We watch it with friends every week and always talk about going there. However, since many times the food doesn’t get served in a timely manner or the kitchen gets shut down entirely, we’d be sure to nibble beforehand and have a back up dining plan for afterwards!

Kaylie Newell The Deadliest Catch. Of course, I’d just make them give me a ride in the harbor and then take me back to the dock.

Judy Alter One of the cooking reality shows–unless someone starts on about mystery authors

Linda Rettstatt They’d have to create a new show for me. One where whoever could sit in a recliner and work on the laptop the longest without getting up would win. I’d suck at Survivor (see earlier note about spiders and snakes). I can’t play games well enough for Big Brother–I’d insult everyone. And Dancing With the Stars is really out of the question given my two left feet. Recliner sitting and typing is my forte.

Maeve Greyson Duck Dynasty. They remind me a lot of my own family. ;-)

Niecey Roy UFO Hunters!!! Because…we are not alone ;)

Tess Morrison The Apprentice. I’m sure I’d kick butt, but I’m afraid I wouldn’t take it so well if I was fired. Actually, I just want to get a gander at Donald’s hair. I think I could help him with that.

Tina Pollick Definitely not any survivor show. Nope. No singing shows, because that would be just mean. No cooking shows because people wouldn’t want to come over anymore to eat. No dating shows because I’m happily married. Are there any more shows left?

Debra Doggett That one where they put you back in time and made you go live on a farm without electricity or running water. I don’t think I’d last long but it’d be a great weekend and with the money they pay me I can buy a real house and pay the electric bill.

Nia Simone Anna Nicole Smith, but she’s gone. My heart just breaks for her. It always did. I get teary-eyed just thinking of her. I just always felt she was so vulnerable. And no one really saw it. She was so easy to ridicule. I would like to go back in time and make things turn out better for her. For her not to lose her son and then her own life to despair.

Virginia Crane  None. I really don’t like reality shows because they are fake. Think about it. There has to be a camera person and tons of film that will be edited. Everyday life is reality enough for me.

Graeme Brown I think anyone ho brought a camera into my house would be able to start their own reality TV show.

Nancy Fraser The Biggest Loser. I find most reality shows useless, but this one is life-changing. It would be nice to get a firm handle on good eating habits, a constant exercise routine and improve my overall health.

Robyn Bachar Ghost Hunters! It’s one of my very favorite TV shows. I’d love to go on an investigation with the TAPS team. I have a life-long interest in the paranormal, which is what first inspired me to write paranormal romance. I even have an homage to the TAPS team in my novella FIRE IN THE BLOOD.

Jeanette Baker I have no idea. I’ve never watched a reality show. Sorry.

Kim Hornsby I’d like to be on The Bachelor if I were young, single and gorgeous. If I was on the show with the wisdom I now have at the ripe age of 56, I’d be the most intelligent and appealing contestant in the history of The Bachelor. When I watch the show (and I’m a huge fan!) I play along and groan when the girls say and do something stupid, then remember how stupid I was when I was twenty-two. If you read my novella The Husband Hunt, you’ll see that I created a character who comes to her senses mid way through the first month on The Bachelor and tries to pull out of the competition.

Juliet Waldron Perhaps Dancing With the Stars. But only if I could have my 25 year old body back again.

Willa Blair One of those cooking shows where you get to sample all the great food they’re making. Maybe Dancing with the Stars. It looks like fun, despite all the injuries. On second thought, being in their studio audience would probably be sufficient.

Lynda J Cox Ice Road Truckers–but I’d be in the office lining up loads. As much as I love to drive (and as often as I drive over the road going to and from dog shows), there isn’t a snowball’s chance in hell of EVER getting me to drive a big rig across a frozen lake. NO THANK YOU!

Lynda Coker I hate reality shows. What an oxymoron, there is nothing remotely real about reality shows.

Brenda Gayle I am a big reality show fan, but think I would be a disaster on most of them. I’d never survive on the Island without my morning coffee, I have a terrible fear of heights so Amazing Race is out, and I’m not tactful enough to survive the Big Brother house. However, one reality show I think I’m perfectly suited to is Take Home Chef (I’m not sure if it’s still on TLC). I fantasize about being picked up by Chef Curtis Stone while I’m shopping for rutabaga in the vegetable aisle of my local grocery store. “Hello, beautiful. Can I take you home and show you how to mash that veg?”

Mary Hughes It’s not a reality show but I have a fantasy of driving the Reasonably Priced Car on Top Gear. Meeting Jeremy, James and Richard, being coached around the race track by the Stig? It would be the coolest thing ever.

Shannyn Schroeder I’m not a huge fan of reality shows, but I think it would be fun to be on The Apprentice. The Apprentice rewards not just business acumen and intelligence, but also creativity. Some of the best players on the show have been people I wouldn’t have pegged to be great. They’re not loud and outgoing; they stay in the back and observe, plan, and learn before attacking. I’m good at leading a group and taking charge, but I have little patience for the BS that gets tossed around, so I might not make it far in the game.

Lynn Crandall I can’t imagine any type of reality show I would try to get on. I watch one or two and they are entertaining, but I don’t know why people subject themselves to such situations. However, if I were going to pick one it would maybe be Ice Road Truckers. There’s a lot of drama on the ice roads and some interesting, though frequently volatile, drivers. I imagine enjoying a sense of accomplishment in surviving and getting the jobs done.

Weird that I picked driving. I don’t like to drive in bad weather. Maybe I have an inner truck driver waiting to be let out.

Barbara Meyers Survivor…except I’d probably get kicked off early on. Not because I couldn’t get along with everyone, but I might not be able to handle the physical distress of sleeping (or not being able to sleep) outside, not having enough food, getting eaten up by bugs, etc.

Carol Henry Actually, I don’t watch reality shows—well I did watch Survivor at first in order to see something of the romantic locations where they were filmed. I soon became embarrassed at how badly the people acted. I can’t imagine me taking part in any such show—I’d more than likely act just as stupid and embarrassing, and can’t stand the thought of my family seeing me as conniving, arguing, and acting so badly on live TV– world-wide. It’s just wrong.

Robin Renee Ray Swamp People….Why? Because I am part Hillbilly and helping catch then eating a gator would ROCK…then I could write a short horror read about some killer gator getting payback..LOL

Joya Fields “Survivor.” I’d love to see if I had what it took to survive in the wilderness with no modern conveniences.

Patty Campbell  The dog whisperer, to find out if Caesar is really as sexy as they say he is.

Genie Gabriel No thanks. Life is enough reality for me.

Pamela S Thibodeaux None, I hate reality shows because they (for the most part) are scripted…how is that real?

Elysa Hendricks Renovation Raiders, Kitchen Crashers or any HGTV show. My house desperately needs a kitchen remodel.

Allie Boniface The only reality show I watch (religiously, every episode since the first season) is Survivor. While I don’t know how well I’d do (I’m not great at manipulating and backstabbing people), the idea of putting all those different personalities together and watching how they interact is fascinating. So yeah, I might give that a try. Plus I hear it’s a great way to lose weight fast!

Ryshia Kennie I wouldn’t love to be on any reality TV show. Okay, was that not the right answer? But really, there are some reality TV shows I watch but none I’d want to get closer than the other side of my television set. I suppose if I wanted to break into show business I’d say American Idol – but I don’t. Besides, some of the reality TV I watch is a little bizarre and more than likely, that’s exactly why I watch it. It’s just a nice break and not something I want to participate in.

Troy Lambert I’ve already been on COPS, so I wouldn’t mind going back, I suppose. I just want to get away this time.

Jane Toombs Sorry, none. I don’t like reality shows.

Jaleta Clegg I want to invent my own called Chocolate Coma. The whole point is to see who can concoct the most chocolate dishes each episode. They have to taste good so no chocolate meatballs or chocolate lima beans. If I had to be on a real reality show, I’d love a shot at the next superhero one hosted by Stan Lee. I’m nowhere near buff or young or athletic, and I look terrible in spandex, but I liked the values they were promoting with that show.

Beth Trissel Not Survivor, that’s for sure. I’m not certain they’ve come up with the right reality show for me. Maybe life in a castle, and I would be the duchess, of course.

Helena Fairfax I’d love to be on a reality dance show. That would be awesome. Of course, I’d have to be able to dance.

Kelly Whitley Not a big fan of reality TV.

I suppose Bear Grylls Get Out Alive (not sure I’ve got the name exactly right). At least these people are facing real challenges and acquiring survival skills they could actually use some day!

Some of the stuff they have to do is gross, but compared to the angst of The Kardashians…no contest.

Paty Jager I think it would be fun to be on Dancing with the Stars. As I said before I love to dance, but I’m not sure I could stand up to the pressure of all those people watching and having to talk to people. And my klutziness would be a huge problem. But I find dancing fun and would love to learn how to be better.

Linda McMaken Oh, please, my life is reality enough! I want fantasy baby, that’s why I write romance. Give me a good, juicy fantasy anytime over reality. Get me lost in a book with great characters and a solid plot, and…..who needs reality?

Penny Estelle Wipeout! I’m sure it would kill me, but it looks like such a fun time!

Isabo Kelly Top Chef as a judge! Because while I may not do a lot of cooking, I do love to eat (which is why I have to lie about my weight).

Lynne Marshall Property Brothers – I’d love for those two strapping twin brothers to come to my house and fix it for me!

Melissa McClone I would love to be on The Amazing Race. I think the show itself is great and the things they put contestants through challenging. Traveling around the globe like that would be so much fun. I’d love to see how I would do against the other teams.

Aaron Speca Extreme Makeover: Home Edition – because to be deemed worthy of being on that show, it means I would had to have done something that really helped someone.

Pamela Turner Masterchef, although I suspect I wouldn’t even make it through the auditions. But I like Gordon Ramsay and how he inspires people to do their best.

Shirley Martin Sorry, I don’t watch reality shows. And even if I did, I wouldn’t want to be on them. Would not want the publicity.

Amy Corwin: None of them. Are you kidding? I’m not that masochistic. LOL Although I wouldn’t mind accompanying Survivor-man on a trip because I love camping and think it’s great to have good survival skills.

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Play Twenty Questions: Question 19

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2013 Anniversary NON Questions 19
Linda Palmer I was in sixth grade and at a dance at the American Legion. The room was dark. My boyfriend of the moment sneaked in a quick kiss.

Judith B. Glad  I was five,so was he. His big brother told him he’d pay us each a nickle if we’d kiss each other. I close my eyes. He pecked at my cheek. I opened my eyes and looked into his. Swiftly i touched my lips to his (just like in the movies!), and we both jerked away almost as quickly. His face was bright pink, and mine was hot.

Popsicles cost a nickel in those days.I can’t remember what flavor he bought, but I got a Fudgesicle.

Kaylie Newell It was at my first boy/girl party in sixth grade. His name was Kenneth and he was a foot shorter than me. He also had really slippery lips.

Judy Alter Awkward with a geeky boy. I was shy, figured he was the only boy who would be attracted to me. Thanks heaven, I turned out to be wrong about that and went on to better things.

Linda Rettstatt  I played guitar in a band with two high school friends and, cliche as it sounds, the boy next door who had since moved to the next town. The four of us piled into my friend, Liz’s, big old Chevy Impala (it was a long time ago), and Frankie and I ended up sitting together in the back seat at a drive-in movie. To this day, I don’t remember what movie we saw. I know I only saw the first half.

Maeve Greyson Since I’m too old to remember my very first kiss ever, I’ll share the one with Hubby.

Hubby and I have been married nearly thirty-four years. Our friends all said it would never last because we only knew each other three months before we got married. But Hubby and I both knew it was meant to be as soon as our eyes met. Here he was a military man home on leave and I was a just graduated eighteen year old. When he brought me back home after our first date, he cupped my chin in his hand and while his lips were barely touching mine, he said, “You need to marry me.” The kiss sealed the deal.

Niecey Roy It was terrible. I was only in the third grade, I think. Good thing it was only a peck or I might have decked him.

Tess Morrison Behind the Donut Hole. Yes, you read it right – the Donut Hole. It was the most popular hang out when I was in Junior High. He was the most handsome guy in my class, but dropped me as soon as the new girl showed up with boobs three times the size of mine.

Tina Pollick It was my neighbor and he wasn’t cute, I think it was a dare. And this girl never has been nor never will be a chicken. *laughs*

Debra Doggett I was at a party when I was about sixteen and there was a guy I thought was the coolest guy ever. It was near Christmas and we sat down by the fireplace and talked then he leaned over and kissed me. Even after all these years I’d love to hunt him down and tell him how much that kiss stayed in my memory.

Nia Simone Like I said. I never confess. ;-)

Virginia Crane  Wow! You sure do want to take me back a lot of years. Well, back in the day we used to play spin the bottle at parties. That is where a lot of us, both sexes, got our ‘first’ kiss.

Graeme Brown It was to a girl when I was 17, and she and I both agreed: it was wet!

Nancy Fraser I was 15, I had braces. The boy had braces. Old-fashioned metal braces. (Yes, I’m that old!) It was not a good kiss. Neither of us knew what we were doing. It’s a miracle we didn’t get our mouths locked together. How embarrassing would that have been!

Jeanette Baker A friend’s older brother, 14, and I were walking on top of block wall fences. I fell into someone’s yard and a dog chased me. The brother reached down, gripped my hand and hauled me back to the top of the fence. Then he kissed me. I was 12 and I fantasized about that kiss until I had real ones much later.

Kim Hornsby  I don’t even remember. Isn’t that terrible? It was probably in 7th grade when we played spin the bottle at Christine Scott’s house. I wasn’t an early kisser and lost my virginity at a very late age (19). I was chubby from age 15 to 19 and that successfully kept the boys away from my lips, I guess. I was also very shy around boys. Now I’m a little too friendly with everyone and have to remind myself to use some control and not overwhelm people when we first meet.

Juliet Waldron All my friends were going out on dates and having romantic feelings about boyfriends. I didn’t really have those feelings about anybody of my own age–or even about anybody who was alive because my first crushes were on historical personalities–but I felt that I would be left behind by my peer group and so had to do something about it. A young man liked me, and asked me out to his sixteenth birthday party. This was in Barbados, and I didn’t realize that the custom there was for him to cut his birthday cake and then kiss his date. I was embarrassed when I realized, but, always polite and always in the “when in Rome” mode because I was a foreigner, I gave him the expected kiss. This was instant photographed and duly passed around among our classmates. I resigned myself to the teasing, because I had established myself as a girl who boys liked and one who went out on dates.

Willa Blair Sadly, I don’t remember it. It must not have been too earth-shaking.

Lynda J Cox This could get me in trouble…

I was sixteen and visiting my grandmother in Florida. I went to the city pool and was being hit up on by a guy who was in actuality a total jerk. I ended up shoving him into the pool and telling him to go do something anatomically impossible. When this guy said that he’d sooner do that than try to talk to me again, I said, “Thank God.”

The life-guard on the stand right above my head leaned over and told me, “You’re welcome.”

We started talking and when the pool closed that night, he walked me back to my grandmother’s house. He asked if he could see me again. I thought about it (for a millisecond) and said that would be nice.

Two nights later, after he walked me home again, he asked my grandmother if he could take me out on a date. I didn’t know if I should be angry because he didn’t ask me first or happy because he was so respectful. Gramma told him a date was up to me, not her.

After our dinner date, when he dropped me off at Gramma’s again, he kissed me on her porch. I still remember the butterflies in my stomach, the sound of the crickets and frogs chirping in the darkness, and then Gramma flashing the porch light. We jumped apart like two scalded cats.

He was my first kiss, my first love, and my first heart-break.

Lynda Coker It was awful!
It was stolen!
It led to marriage…

On my first blind date, which I wasn’t suppose to be on since my father forbade them, I was paired with a man four years older than my seventeen years. Later I found out that his boldness was due to the reputation of the girl I was with. You know the old adage, you’re judged by the people you hang with; that happened to be the case with me. He thought I had the same moral standards as my friend and saw no problem proceeding accordingly. Of course, I set him straight after that stolen kiss, which to my surprise, led to him taking a serious interest in me. We’ll be married 49 years in September of 2013. He really is a sweetheart and the love of my life.

Maryann Miller Actually, this is the story of the first kiss I missed. When I was in 7th grade I had a huge crush on a neighbor boy who lived on the corner of our street. He was Italian – and gorgeous – and a charmer. My best friend, Jan, and I decided to have a party in my basement and invite some of the neighbor kids, including gorgeous Joe and his friend Marvin.

During the party someone said, “Let’s turn out the lights.” So we did and we all danced in the dark. Then when I turned the lights on, I saw Joe kissing Jan. I was devastated. She knew how much I was hoping to dance with Joe and maybe get a kiss, so I blamed her, even though he probably instigated the kiss.

It took me a year to forgive her, and several more years to get over Joe. Kissing Marvin was not nearly the same thrill.

Shannyn Schroeder I’m going to ignore the junior high, fake kisses and talk about what I consider my first real kiss. His name was Jesse. We were both freshman, but we went to different schools. I was at an all-girl school and he went to the nearby all-boy school. We lived only a couple of blocks from each other, so we rode the bus together in the mornings and afternoons. A girl I knew from elementary school introduced us and he asked me out. I don’t think we even made it to a first date, but we walked the neighborhood a lot. One night he walked me home and we sat on my front steps and he kissed me. It was a sweet kiss and I remember all the churning nervousness and excitement.

Too bad Jesse didn’t turn out to be such a sweet guy. Within the next week or two, I discovered that he was cheating on me with the girl who had introduced us.

Lynn Crandall LOL! My most memorable early kiss was not my first. My husband and I were on our first date, but we were 30 years old, so not like we’d never kissed people before. We went out to dinner and saw a really amazing movie we both enjoyed. When he took me home we stood outside for a bit — and it was freezing! He kept looking at me and not making a move to kiss or leave. We were standing very close to each other and (maybe my impatience kicked in) finally I asked, “Are you going to kiss me?” He laughed, but then did. More than once.

Sheila Claydon It can’t have been a good one…not close to the quality of those in my romances…because I can’t remember it. I can remember the first kiss that turned me on though. I was on holiday and he was staying at the same hotel. It was sunny, the beaches were beautiful, I thought he was too. We were fifteen, and we went out together for another 3 years , travelling a 140 mile round trip every time we wanted to see one another, much to our parents’ consternation.

Carol Henry You really want to know about my ‘first’ kiss? Well, it wasn’t anything to write home about, that’s for sure. In fact I wondered what all the fuss was about. It took me a couple times to figure out that the right boy hadn’t come along yet. When he did, wow. We were all over each other—I learned what a kiss was and how to kiss back—my tummy is turning over just thinking about it now. Of course, I’m talking about my hubby—his kiss still makes my body tingle. And that’s all I’m saying about that!

Robin Renee Ray I was really 12 and it was my gay best friend…we just wanted to know what a french kiss was all about..LOL Never told that before! ; )

Joya Fields Teen Night at the local pool. It was very nice, and very sweet and I can’t tell you any more because my husband or the “first kiss” guy might be reading this. :)

Patty Campbell I was 13. Scholarly Donnie Dutton gave me a sweet gift for Valentine’s Day, then clumsily kissed me. He had to stand on tiptoe. I was taller.

Our family moved, but years later I saw him again. He was about 6’4″, a football player, and a total jock.

Genie Gabriel It was so mundane, I’ve forgotten. Which may explain why I write romances. I can make up hot boyfriends whose kisses make the heroine’s toes curl.

Elysa Hendricks Sad to say I don’t really remember my first real kiss. It’s been too long and frankly it must have been totally unremarkable. I much prefer the kisses I get from my hubby now.

Allie Boniface Ah…..it was with the guy I’d been crushing on for 2 years in high school. I went to a party with another guy – who ended up leaving that party with his ex-girlfriend – and my Crush offered to drive me home. Sigh. I missed curfew that night, but it was totally worth it. I still remember the kiss in perfect detail.

Ryshia Kennie My first kiss – wow I had to think really hard to remember that. I was six years old and he was the boy that would pick me up and double me on his bike to school despite my mother’s strict warnings. I remember walking to the end of the block out of her sight before getting on that bike. And the kiss – well it was a light peck and I believe it was on the cheek. I hate to admit it but my first kiss was kind of forgettable.

Troy Lambert I took a girl named Angela Peck behind the modular trailer that served as my mom’s first grade classroom, and I tasted the sweetness of her lip gloss. I was six, I think.

Jane Toombs I still remember it well. We were playing Spin The Bottle in someone’s basement. and I got chosen as the one to go into the furnace room with a guy I sort of knew from school . He kissed me and the world went a bit off kilter. It was the the first time I’d been kissed by a guy who knew what he was doing.

Beth Trissel My high school sweetheart, my first date, the man I married and have been with ever since. the love of my life.

Helena Fairfax My first kiss was with a really handsome young boy at school. Bright blue eyes, dark hair – he was gorgeous. Sadly, his name was Rex, and I couldn’t handle going out with someone who had the same name as a dog. (I was young then. Sorry Rex.)

Kelly Whitley The kid across the street–first grade.

It didn’t last.

The kiss was because his family was moving away. As I recall, it was BLECH! Didn’t try it again for a long time.

Paty Jager It was the summer between my junior and senior year of high school. I’d lost weight going from the chubbiest girl in my class to a regular size and was just enjoying the attention of boys. I was attending a Jazz Band camp at the nearest college and there was a boy with light blue eyes and dark brown hair who took my breath away. Especially because he seemed to only have eyes for me. Chubby(still how I thought of myself) me. He sat by me between workshops and the night we had a movie, he sat by me and held my hand. Afterward’s he walked me to the parking lot to meet the family I was staying with and he kissed me on the lips one soft kiss and walked away. I never saw him after that camp and we didn’t exchange addresses to write.

Linda McMaken It was ugly and shall never be repeated, ever, again. Twelve year old kids should never under any circumstances kiss — blech! It’s a wonder either of us ever dared to try and kiss someone again.

Penny Estelle Let me tell you about my first french kiss. I went out with this boy and I was probably 15. He gave me this big french kiss and I hated it. He asked me out again and I sobbed to my mom, “I don’t want to go out with him again. His tongue choked me, and it was huge.” It took me a while to get over that!

Isabo Kelly I was on a school ski trip (where I fell down a lot) and on the bus home we played truth or dare. I got dared to kiss one of the cutest boys in school. I never shirked from a dare. It was a sweet, lovely kiss. Years later when I told my best friend this story, she still squealed over the fact that I got to kiss that particular boy.

Lynne Marshall Ack – it’s pitiful! I was in a school play – sweet sixteen, never been kissed (we’ll almost was at fourteen but that didn’t pan out) I had the second female lead, and there was a scene where I had to be kissed. The guy who played oposite me was anything but cute and I don’t think he’d ever kissed anyone before either! We had to kiss on stage for four performances. Sorriest kiss I’ve ever had!

Shirley Martin If I recall correctly, it was at an amusement park, when I was 14 or so. We were riding something I think called “The Tunnel of Love.” Whenever we went through the tunnel, he kissed me. I still remember his name, but I’ll never tell.

Aaron Speca Working retail in high school – got grabbed from underneath a clothes rack by a girl who worked there. We went on a couple of dates. At least, that’s the first kiss I remember LOL …

Amy Corwin: I was in Scotland for a year abroad (school) and met this cute guy at a school dance. We went out on a date, which actually was getting together with other friends of his and playing a board game. It sounds weird but it was loads of fun. THen he walked me back to my room and well–you get the idea. :)

 
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Play Twenty Questions: Question 18

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2013 Anniversary NON Questions 18
Linda Palmer  I’ve lied about how good someone looks. Sometimes it’s nicer to be less than honest.

Judith B. Glad My weight. Always. While I could never convince anyone I only weigh 100 lbs, I can, and do, shave ten pounds off what i admit on my driver’s license. Now if I could only figure out how to bollix the scales at the doctor’s office…

Kaylie Newell I told someone that I’ve only seen Magic Mike twice.

Judy Alter my weight

Linda Rettstatt Telling someone, “I can’t hear you. You’re breaking up,” when I’ve wanted to end a phone call.

Maeve Greyson Hmm…I don’t know. With my faulty memory, I’ve discovered it’s a lot easier just to tell the truth.

Niecey Roy Exercising…ha!

Tess Morrison I was fifteen and my mother heard me say the word ‘horny’. I said I had no idea what it meant.

Jana Richards My weight. Enough said.

Tina Pollick That I’m still twenty-one. Yeah people kind of look at me funny now, but until somebody calls me on it I’ll be twenty-one forever!

Debra Doggett My real feelings, usually when someone has hurt them. I smile and say it’s okay.

Nia Simone I never confess.

Virginia Crane My weight. I’ll tell anybody my age but shave points when it comes to weight.

Graeme Brown If I told you that, then I’d have to kill you. <grin>

Nancy Fraser Years (and I mean years) ago, I was part of a group of students who painted large green footprints from the Atlas-like statue in front of City Hall in downtown Detroit across a busy main street to another statue of a naked woman in front of the Gas Company building. When questioned, I denied it. Now, since the statute of limitations has passed …. YES, I was there! I did it!

Jeanette Baker My age but I lied backwards. I skipped 2nd grade and thought no one would like me if they knew I was younger than everyone so I told everyone I was a year older than I really was. That actually lasted until after I graduated from college. I realized that no one cared how old I was.

Kim Hornsby  My weight. That is something I lie about whenever asked. I tend to say I’m way heavier than I am. Just kidding. I say I’m about 10 pounds lighter than I am but in my head I’m thinking “well I could be that weight if I’d just stop eating late at night or give up cheese” Then I resolve to get to that weight on Monday.

Willa Blair What do women always lie about? Their weight. Or their age.

Lynda J Cox I lie about my hair color–but only Miss Clairol knows for sure. Other than that, as I said previously, I’m a terrible liar.

Lynda Coker My weight. I detest being lied too and don’t know why I always fudge a few pounds when asked what my current weight is. The weird thing is, I’ve done this when my weight was just right as well as when I’ve been overweight. So what’s up with that? It’s beyond my reasoning curve.

Mary Hughes I don’t lie very well at all. Even my kids as youngsters could see right through me at gift-giving time. (No-o-o-o, that’s not a box of Legos…really!)

Denise Golinowski  Why would I confess if I’d gone to all the trouble of constructing and maintaining a convincing lie? Yes, it may be exhausting to maintain a lie, but sometimes needs must when the devil drives. So, after going to all that trouble and keeping up appearances all this time, I’m not about to flip on it now. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!

Lynn Crandall I say I’m fine all the time, because people really don’t have the time for an in-depth answer. How are you? is just a greeting. But I love it when people give me a sense of where they are in their thoughts and emotionally at any given time. People are fascinating and so complex!

Sheila Claydon Parking tickets. As far as my family is concerned I’ve never had one:-)

Carol Henry What? Me Lie? Not on your life. I’ve never lied. Ever. Really. You can trust and believe me on this?

Robin Renee Ray That I was 15 when I got my first kiss..LOL

Joya Fields Oh, wow. I used to lie all the time as a kid and I always got caught. Once, I gelled my sister’s hair with Dippity-Do (remember that stuff?) and when my grandmother asked if we got into her hair gel, I shook my head and said “no” even though my sister’s blonde hair stood straight up…stiff as cement.

Annette Bower I always under state the amount of time I spend writing a list, a note, a dedication in a book, a sympathy card, a short short story, a short story, a novel.

It appears to me that other writers accomplish these challenges a great deal faster than I do. How could I ever tell anyone that it has taken me at least an hour and a half to answer eight questions on this promotional event? So now you have to ask yourself is an hour and a half the truth or has she spent more time than this for these simple questions?

Patty Campbell I’ve told a happy new mother that her baby was adorable, even though he was homely as mud fence.
I lied to a friend when I said I liked her boyfriend, because it was important to her. I really thought he was a boorish clod.

I’ve often said “I’m fine,” when I felt like shit, because who cares?

Genie Gabriel You don’t really think I’m going to confess, do you?

Pamela S Thibodeaux That I’m okay when I’m really falling apart

Elysa Hendricks I lie about everything for goodness sake – I’m a fiction author.

Kate Robbins I’ve lied when I knew telling the truth was really going to hurt someone’s feelings. I really grapple with that. Oh I will tell you if you really, really need to hear the truth, but if the only result is that you will be hurt, I’m not gonna do it. I don’t ever want to be the cause of someone else’s unhappiness.

Troy Lambert Almost everything in this interview.

Jane Toombs Ooh, hard to say. Like most of us I ‘ve lied mostly to either save face or so as not to hurt someone’s feelings. But at least I’ve never told anyone I loved them unless it was true.

Beth Trissel My age

Helena Fairfax My age. When I was younger, I lied about my age to get into night clubs. Now I’m older, I lie about my age to appear younger!

Kelly Whitley Hmm…
I suppose pen names are technically lies. I’ve got three of them. With my job, I can’t have explicit stuff out there under my own name. If someone asked me, “Hey, are you so and so?” I imagine I’d lie about it.

Linda McMaken That’s the one Commandment that has suffered greatly. I have a list: age, weight, age, weight, age, hair color, weight,…..pretty much sums it up.

Penny Estelle My weight

Isabo Kelly I once told a kid in my college dorm I was a vampire. I’m such a good liar, he believed me for a little bit. Then I had to come clean cause I was afraid of waking up with someone standing over me holding a stake! Also I always lie about my weight.

Shirley Martin I hate to sound like a goody-goody, but I can’t remember lying.

Amy Corwin: “No, really, you look GREAT!” :)
I think you need to support the people around you and make them feel better, regardless of what you might think privately. Caveat: I ALWAYS tell people when their dress hem is stuck in their panties, collar is up, and that sort of thing. But when a person tries their best to look good, you need to encourage them. Social lies can be very important.

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