What is Preston by Amy Lane – Guest Blog

Long and Short Reviews welcomes Amy Lane who is celebrating today’s release of Silent Heart, the second book in her Search and Rescue series.

What is Preston?

I know we live in an era in which we love for everything—disability, sexuality, neuro-atypicality, etc.—to have a label, but speaking from experience, that doesn’t always happen.

When my son was a toddler, he went through test after test to diagnose what had gone awry in his noggin—why was speech so hard for him? Why were his nerve endings not connecting for his motor abilities? Why was too much motion in his day too hard to comprehend? They never made a diagnosis—seventy-five years ago, they would have told us, “He’s retarded, ma’am—he should go in a home.” Which would have been a shame because he’s about ready to graduate from college, and he’s been working and living on his own for three years. But I remember, in the thick of the testing, when his father and I were exhausted and trying so hard to figure out how to deal with a kid with a big heart and not many words, we got a big batch of test results that we pored over for an evening before my Mate lost his patience.

“They keep trying to tell us what’s wrong with him. Don’t they see he’s perfect?”

And that’s where we left it. As the years went by, the doctors who fixated on diagnosis for what was wrong as opposed to modifications to help him achieve what he could do tended to be our least favorite people.

And it’s not that I think all labels are bad—after living with my own ADHD for years without being diagnosed, learning that all of my quirks had a name and that all of my coping methods were valid certainly gave me some much-needed confidence in the “I swear I’m not crazy,” department.

It’s that limiting a person to their label, and forcing them to live by that label because it makes parents, teachers, or doctors happier is the kind of thinking that would have crippled my son’s future. Just dealing with his limitations and focusing on what he could do was so much more helpful than a label ever could be.

So when I decided to write Preston as neuro-atypical, I didn’t want him to be labeled. Following the example of the character of Newt Scamander (and Creedence, the Obscurial) I didn’t want anybody to say, “Oh, he’s autistic,” and simply categorize him in that little box. Newt Scamander is never labeled—he’s identified as a very specific, very unusual person to work with, but nobody ever says “autism” or “spectrum” in his movies. He is simply Newt, and he is, as a result, so much more than his diagnosis. Like a teacher in a playground, or a parent at a back-to-school night, I knew Preston’s diagnosis—but I wanted readers to interact with Preston as he was, not as his diagnosis said he should be.
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That’s how Glen and Damien treated him—as a valuable friend, and someone they cared for, who needed certain things in order to function in an extraordinary situation. For his part, Preston’s uniqueness made him one of the few people who could crack past Damien’s self-protectiveness and fear, so he could remember the hero he was capable of being.

People don’t wear labels as they go through life. Not a lot of people want that T-shirt that says “bi-polar”, “ADHD”, or “Autism Spectrum” across the chest. If we wore those shirts, everybody would be staring at our chests, and nobody would be listening to the things we say, or see the things we do or give us credit for the workings of our hearts.

So while sometimes the labels can be helpful, I wanted us to deal with Preston without the label—so we could see that he was a person, and one very, very capable of loving Damien and being loved in return.

Dog wrangler Preston Echo has been in love with his brother’s best friend, copilot, and business partner since high school—and Damien Ward knew it. As Preston grew into a stunning, hard-willed man, Damien began to dream of Preston too.

Then Damien almost died in a helicopter crash. While his physical wounds are slowly healing, the blows to his self-confidence and goodwill are almost worse. His body is broken and he’s afraid to fly—how can Preston love him now?

When Preston’s brother goes on a search-and-rescue mission and disappears in an earthquake zone in Mexico, Preston and Damien are thrown together in an effort to find him and bring him back. Preston’s merciless honesty—and relentless passion—may leverage Damien into his bed, but can Damien overcome his fears to allow himself to stay there?

About the Author: Amy Lane lives in a crumbling crapmansion with a couple of growing children, a passel of furbabies, and a bemused spouse. Two of her books have received a RITA nomination, she’s won honorable mention for an Indiefab, and has a couple of Rainbow Awards to her name. She also has too damned much yarn, a penchant for action-adventure movies, and a need to know that somewhere in all the pain is a story of Wuv, Twu Wuv, which she continues to believe in to this day! She writes fantasy, urban fantasy, and gay romance–and if you accidentally make eye contact, she’ll bore you to tears with why those three genres go together. She’ll also tell you that sacrifices, large and small, are worth the urge to write.

Website | Twitter

Buy the book at Amazon or Dreamspinner Press.

Clay by Amy Lane – Guest Blog


Long and Short Reviews welcomes Amy Lane, who is celebrating yesterday’s release of Fall Through Spring.

Clay
Clay makes his first appearance in this series as Skip’s best friend. He’s a good friend—a little insensitive, chubby but doesn’t like to complain about it, and dedicated to Skip. Clay is the one who drives Skipper home from work when he gets sick and who worries about his care, and he’s the one who invites Skip to stay with his family for Christmas when Richie can’t make it.

And it’s when Skip sees Clay’s family that he really sort of gets his friend.

Clay’s been raised in a very privileged environment—but a restrictive one as well. Bringing the wrong bread is a patronized sin for Clay’s parents, and philanthropy is a perfectly acceptable substitute for family affection, and Clay gets a pat on the head for having a job that pays the bills.

When Skip takes Clay home afterwards—Skip’s low rent house and not Clay’s average apartment—Skip buys them both a pie and ice cream, because he gets it. Living with so much restriction that you’re afraid you’ll say the wrong thing, do the wrong thing, think the wrong thing—that can make someone need to eat a pie.

When we see Clay’s upbringing from his own perspective, the view is even rougher. Clay’s smart—he gets that he’s had privileges he should be grateful for, but all these privileges have formed a wall between who Clay is and who his parents want to be.

He’s not a bad guy, really. He’s kind to everybody, makes people laugh when he can, and follows Skipper through hell and onto the soccer field when his self-consciousness about his weight and being a burden is an anchor on his soul.

His parents want him to be a microbiologist with a business degree who saves the world.

Clay needs more personal connection than that—and for a little while, his platonic love for Skipper does the trick. He’s pretty sure he’s bisexual but has never given that a test drive, and he’s just so afraid of rocking the boat as it is.
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And then he meets Dane. And they just click.

Clay doesn’t even try to explain it—not at first. Dane just gets him. Manic, gleeful, sort of an ass, Dane is just like Clay, except more high maintenance. Both of them are like most of us—a mix of good and bad, industriousness and laziness, ambition and ennui.

And wanting to do better—to be better.
Clay’s struggles with weight are everybody’s struggles with the things that weigh them down. The broken thing inside him that makes food his fallback defense will never be fixed—but it can be overridden, tricked, and cajoled into submission, and Clay wants desperately to do that. He wants his body to be able to keep up with the best things his heart wants, for both himself and the world around him.

Nobody’s going to want to make a superhero doll that looks like Clay Carpenter—but hopefully, when reading him, we can see the hero in us all.

As far as Clay Carpenter is concerned, his abusive relationship with food is the best thing he’s got going. When a good friend starts kicking his ass into gear, Clay is forced to reexamine everything he learned about food and love—and that’s right when he meets troubled graduate student, Dane Hayes.

Dane Hayes doesn’t do the whole monogamy thing, but the minute he meets Clay Carpenter, he’s doing the friend thing in spades. The snarky, scruffy bastard not only gets Dane’s wacky sense of humor, he also accepts the things Dane can’t control—like the bipolar disorder Dane has been trying to manage for the past six years.

Dane is hoping for more than friendship, and Clay is looking at him with longing that isn’t platonic. They’re both positive they’re bad at relationships, but with the help of forbidden desserts and new medication regimens, they prove outstanding at being with each other. But can they turn their friendship into the love neither of them has dared to hope for?

About the Author: Amy Lane lives in a crumbling crapmansion with a couple of growing children, a passel of furbabies, and a bemused spouse. Two of her books have received a RITA nomination, she’s won honorable mention for an Indiefab, and has a couple of Rainbow Awards to her name. She also has too damned much yarn, a penchant for action-adventure movies, and a need to know that somewhere in all the pain is a story of Wuv, Twu Wuv, which she continues to believe in to this day! She writes fantasy, urban fantasy, and gay romance–and if you accidentally make eye contact, she’ll bore you to tears with why those three genres go together. She’ll also tell you that sacrifices, large and small, are worth the urge to write.

Website | Twitter
Buy the book at Amazon, Dreamspinner Press, iBooks, Kobo, or Barnes and Noble.

Redemption Arcs by Amy Lane – Guest Blog

Long and Short Reviews welcomes Amy Lane who is celebrating today’s release of Fish on a Bicycle.

Redemption Arcs

Most writers have a character like this.

Somebody they’d intended to be the bad guy—or someone they’d intended to be a sort of background character. A little brother or an ex-boyfriend or a cousin or a sister—somebody who was not supposed to get the glory of an entire book, but just to act like a good bra or an impressive jock strap: solid, 100% grade A support.

And then people want to know about the dick in the strap or the boob in the cup, and suddenly you have to write another book.

Some of these characters are awesome—all around nice guys who just need to meet their Happy Ever After.

And… some of these guys are Henry.

Henry was not a great guy when we saw him. He made gross sexist comments at the dinner table because his father encouraged him, and accused his brother, Dex, of becoming a pansy-assed Californian because Dex wasn’t an asshole.

And at the same time, we knew Henry was having an affair with his sister’s husband, Malachi.

We never heard from Henry after Dex broke with his family—but boy, people wanted his story.

I kept putting it off. I was thinking, “Gee, Amy, you have reformed some scumbags before, but… well… that’s a little extreme, right?”

But I kept thinking about him—because his brother, Dex, was really awesome. And Henry must have had Dex level potential somewhere, right? But what about that having an affair with his brother-in-law? That was really sort of sleazy…

How do you reform that?

Well, it took a murder and a kick ass lawyer and Private Investigator, and an extra book.

Fish on a Bicycle is the fourth book in the Fish Out of Water series—and Jackson and Ellery have their hands full with Henry. Fresh from a break-up with his douchebag ex, Henry arrived in Sacramento three months ago, and he’s already so popular he’s being framed for murder.

And not just any murder. His brother’s ex-boyfriend’s murder.

And Henry is so pissed off, he’s pissing Jackson off. You don’t want to piss Jackson off—he gets cranky.

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Jackson and Ellery don’t make things easy on each other as it is—throw in Henry, who’s got a chip on his shoulder not even Jackson can fathom and we have conflict out the wazoo!

Happy, cranky, snarky, delicious conflict.

And in the end, we get to see the beginning of Henry’s redemption.

But only the beginning.

Because Henry’s got his own book out in March.

Like I said, some guys are made to be the dick in the jock or the boob in the cup, but not Henry. Henry’s the asshole who took over the whole suit—and there’s definitely more to him than meets the eye.

Jackson Rivers has always bucked the rules—and bucking the rules of recovery is no exception. Now that he and Ellery are starting their own law firm, there’s no reason he can’t rush into trouble and take the same risks as always, right?

Maybe not. Their first case is a doozy, involving porn stars, drug empires, and daddy issues, and their client, Henry Worrall, wants to be an active participant in his own defense. As Henry and Jackson fight the bad guys and each other to find out who dumped the porn star in the trash can, Jackson must reexamine his assumptions that four months of rest and a few good conversations have made him all better inside.

Jackson keeps crashing his bicycle of self-care and a successful relationship, and Ellery wonders what’s going to give out first—Jackson’s health or Ellery’s patience. Jackson’s body hasn’t forgiven him for past crimes. Can Ellery forgive him for his current sins? And can they keep Henry from going to jail for sleeping with the wrong guy at the wrong time?

Being a fish out of water is tough—but if you give a fish a bicycle, how’s he going to swim?

About the Author:Amy Lane lives in a crumbling crapmansion with a couple of growing children, a passel of furbabies, and a bemused spouse. She’s been nominated for a RITA, has won honorable mention for an Indiefab, and has a couple of Rainbow Awards to her name. She also has too damned much yarn, a penchant for action-adventure movies, and a need to know that somewhere in all the pain is a story of Wuv, Twu Wuv, which she continues to believe in to this day! She writes fantasy, urban fantasy, and gay romance–and if you accidentally make eye contact, she’ll bore you to tears with why those three genres go together. She’ll also tell you that sacrifices, large and small, are worth the urge to write.

Goodreads | Website | Twitter

Buy the book at Amazon or Dreamspinner.

When You Absolutely Have to Write a Song – Guest Blog


Long and Short Reviews welcomes Amy Lane who is celebrating the recent release of Paint It Black, the second book in the Behind the Stain series.

When You Absolutely Have to Write a Song

So, by the terms of acceptable use policy, we’re not allowed to copy song lyrics down for our stories. The exceptions are for titles and chapter titles (hence all the chapter titles in Beneath the Stain) and a few words of chorus (so “Jeremy spoke in class today,” for Talker’s Redemption.)

And that’s good—we don’t want to steal from other authors, and pretty much our entire community believes in giving credit where credit is due.

But it’s also hard, because if I want the perfect song to express my characters’ feelings in a rock and roll epic romance, I have to go write my own.

I have nothing against writing poetry—as an angsty teen, I wrote lots. Much of it was about unicorns—1-2-3 CRINGE! The first short story I wrote was an epic poem, in doggerel.

My shame, it still burns.

When I applied to the creative writing program I made up two poems to put in the poetry section, and cringed, hoping for the best. I got accepted into the MA for fiction, but not for poetry, and I was relieved.

Oh dear God, let me not be responsible for poetry.

But with Beneath the Stain, I was writing rock stars. I had to write lyrics—I had to write them. The story wouldn’t make sense without them. I’d wrote them for Mackey, taking a special effort to make the first lyric a little juvenile, a little junky, because Mackey was seventeen when he wrote that and I remembered my first forays into poetry. But after that, I had to pony up.

I’ve read lyrics, repeatedly, and some of them look like regular poetry—Bruce Springsteen, David Bowie, Kate Bush, Damien Jurado, Matty Schulz can tell some serious stories with their lyrics. The rawer, more visceral songs still tell a story—but sometimes it’s a very simple one. There is lots of repetition, lots of places where the music covers the rhythm and the rhyme is shot to hell for much the same reason. One of my favorite songs, “Shelter”, by the Rolling Stones, has lines and lines of lyrics that read “oooh-oooh-oooh” and “It’s just a shout away”. “Louis-Louis” by the Kingston Trio is really a bunch of drunk guys singing about how it’s time to go. The music and the delivery make those songs—the lyrics are the least important part.

I didn’t have a band to back me up, so I had to depend on the words. I did my best.

Some good soul on GoodReads was adamant that it was not good enough. Several lovely people have been kind enough to tell me that the songs helped make the book.

When I had to do the same thing in Paint it Black, I’d given myself a slightly cushier setup, if I say so myself.

For one thing, Blake and Cheever had college degrees–they got to write slightly more sophisticated lyrics than Mackey did at seventeen. For another, I’d made it plain that Blake’s style was a little more acoustic, a little less hard-core rock-show. That meant that the lyrics could be longer, and they could be less music intensive—we were getting into James Taylor/Carole King/Bob Dylan territory here, and, well, more words works for me.

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Sort of. I was still a reluctant poet, I admit. One of the songs that Blake wrote for his first solo album was about his unrequited crush on his best friend—and it’s referenced often. I’ll never forget my reaction to the editor’s note on the side.

“Can we see the lyrics to this song so we know what it says?”

I looked at that note and thought of the other lyrics I’d written, and how uncomfortable I was writing poetry for an audience (now that I knew how bad it had been when I was a kid), and sobbed, “Nooooooooooo!”

But it’s in there—I wrote it, because she was right. It needed to be.

But it wasn’t easy. Give me a sex scene any day.

My only hope is that the poetry was sexy and added to the book. Because if I ever get another note in my edit that says, “Hey, you have to write a poem to prompt here—GO!” I might write an entire song that looks like, “Nooooo-oooooooooo-oooooooooooo….”

Everybody thinks Mackey Sanders’s Outbreak Monkey is the last coming of Rock ’n’ Roll Jesus, but Cheever Sanders can’t wait to make a name for himself where nobody expects him to fill his famous brothers’ shoes. He’s tired of living in their shadow.

Blake Manning has been one of Outbreak Monkey’s lead guitarists for ten years. He got this gig on luck and love, not talent. So hearing that Cheever is blowing through Outbreak Monkey’s hard-earned money in an epic stretch of partying pisses him off.

Blake shows up at Cheever’s nonstop orgy to enforce some rules, but instead of a jaded punk, he finds a lost boy as talented at painting as Mackey is at song-making, and terrified to let anybody see the real him. Childhood abuse and a suicide attempt left Cheever on the edge of survival—a place Blake knows all too well.

Both men have to make peace with being second banana in the public eye. Can they find the magic of coming absolute first with each other?

About the Author: Amy Lane lives in a crumbling crapmansion with a couple of growing children, a passel of furbabies, and a bemused spouse. She’s been nominated for a RITA twice, has won honorable mention for an Indiefab, and has a couple of Rainbow Awards to her name. She also has too damned much yarn, a penchant for action-adventure movies, and a need to know that somewhere in all the pain is a story of Wuv, Twu Wuv, which she continues to believe in to this day! She writes fantasy, urban fantasy, and gay romance–and if you accidentally make eye contact, she’ll bore you to tears with why those three genres go together. She’ll also tell you that sacrifices, large and small, are worth the urge to write.

Website | Beneath the Stain Free Extras

Buy the book at Amazon or Dreamspinner Press.

Gloriously Unaware by Amy Lane – Guest Blog

Long and Short Reviews welcomes Amy Lane who is celebrating today’s release of String Boys.

Gloriously Unaware
Teenaged boys are rather glorious creatures (as are teenaged girls, but this is not that story!)

Today my son watched video games, went out and mowed the lawn, and, when asked to dress up for a family function, did the unthinkable and put on pants.

It was only after he attended the function—and spent the evening running around in circles with every kid there—that it occurred to him that he’d even want a shower.

Speaking of pants—he’s shot up six inches in the last six months, and every pair of pants he owns exposes a couple of acres of coltish ankle.

Three days ago he got an academic award for PE—which astounded his father and I because he appears to be made of ears and elbows, and was, in fact, mostly a thank you from his PE teacher for still cracking jokes after dragging his scrawny bottom in after running the mile. He was very proud of his medal, and his father and I are hopelessly, totally, amazingly proud and enamored of him.

He forgets to brush his teeth unless we post reminders on his phone.

Sometimes, he forgets to bring his phone to school.

I think that if we actually bought shoes with laces, he’d be completely lost. He knows how to tie shoes, but God, who has the time?

And the list of contradictions goes on and on and on. The kid can write a monologue and perform it in front of his peers, but when we ask him how he’s doing in school he gets this hunted look in his eyes and forgets to brain words. Go figure.

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But it’s not just my son who inspired me (although he’s plenty inspirational—believe me!) it’s pretty much every young man I’ve ever known, both as a teenager myself and as an adult.

Kids don’t just become men overnight—and they don’t grow in easy-to-measure increments, as smooth little clones of the businessmen or engineers or teachers they might someday become.

They grow in bulges and offshoots—exposing ankles and wrists, defying clothes and gravity as they go. Self-awareness is often the last thing to arrive—which is, in fact, one of the things that makes them so glorious.

Seth Arnold is just one example of how the awkward transition from boy to man can be a joy to witness, and a wonder to behold.

Seth Arnold learned at an early age that two things in life could make his soul soar—his violin and Kelly Cruz. In Seth’s uncertain childhood, the kindness of the Cruz family, especially Kelly and his brother, Matty, gave Seth the stability to make his violin sing with the purest sound and opened a world of possibility beyond his home in Sacramento.

Kelly Cruz has loved Seth forever, but he knows Seth’s talents shouldn’t be hidden, not when the world is waiting. Encouraging Seth to follow his music might break Kelly’s heart, but he is determined to see the violin set Seth’s soul free. When their world is devastated by a violent sexual assault and Matty’s prejudices turn him from a brother to an enemy, Seth and Kelly’s future becomes uncertain.

Seth can’t come home and Kelly can’t leave, but they are held together by a love that they clutch with both hands.

Seth and Kelly are young and the world is wide—the only thing they know for certain is they’ll follow their heartstrings to each other’s arms whenever time and fate allow. And pray that one day they can follow that string to forever… before it slices their hearts in two.

About the Author: Amy Lane lives in a crumbling crapmansion with a couple of growing children, a passel of furbabies, and a bemused spouse. She’s been nominated for a RITA, has won honorable mention for an Indiefab, and has a couple of Rainbow Awards to her name. She also has too damned much yarn, a penchant for action-adventure movies, and a need to know that somewhere in all the pain is a story of Wuv, Twu Wuv, which she continues to believe in to this day! She writes fantasy, urban fantasy, and gay romance–and if you accidentally make eye contact, she’ll bore you to tears with why those three genres go together. She’ll also tell you that sacrifices, large and small, are worth the urge to write.

Website | Facebook | Twitter
Buy the book at Amazon or Dreamspinner Press.

Pictures by Amy Lane – Guest Blog


Long and Short Reviews welcomes Amy Lane who is celebrating the release of A Fool and His Manny.

Pictures
By Amy Lane

I recently watched Coco with my family, in which the family wall of pictures plays an important part—and I have to admit, I felt a little guilty.

I’m horrible at having pictures up at my house.

Part of it is the electronic age. Why update the pictures on your wall when you have a traveling slide show on your phone? Part of it is wall space. We have none. But the movie brought home to me that the pictures on your mantel and your shelves do help people understand who lives in your house.

In A Fool and His Manny, Quinlan doesn’t skimp on pictures. By the time he and Dusty fall in love, he’s been with Dusty’s family for seven years. He’s got pictures of the kids—and pictures of himself with the family—on every shelf in his little apartment.

But he’s never the center.

Now, in the few pictures I do have, me and my kids and my husband are all clustered together in the center. We’re a unit. So it made sense that Quin—the eternal outsider—wouldn’t feel that way. He was the nanny, so it was his job to make sure his family was in the middle of the people puddle.

When Dusty starts courting him—while Quin is away on tour—he has Quinlan send him a selfie a day, and returns them.

Now selfies are a very specific picture—the person taking the selfie is the center of the world. So Dusty was really very smart. He made Quinlan see himself as the center of Dusty’s world for two months, at a distance, where embarrassment or shyness wouldn’t hobble his growing awareness. And at the same time, Dusty got to be the center of Quinlan’s world, and the best part of his day.

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In Dusty’s family, hunting down and capturing a mate is a family enterprise, and having good moves, good habits that make a mate feel a little happier about being hunted down and captured, is a matter of pride. Tino hunted Channing by waking up at five in the morning so he could make Channing breakfast before going to work. Cooper made Sammy protein juice because Sammy needed help managing his health.

In Dustin’s case, Quinlan had been providing meals as a matter of course. He needed a better move.

And it must have worked—because when Quinlan got back from tour, he was primed to see Dusty as more than a kid he used to take care of. He was ready for Dusty to be an adult who helped take care of him.

Dustin Robbins-Grayson was a surly adolescent when Quinlan Gregory started the nanny gig. After a rocky start, he grew into Quinlan’s friend and confidant—and a damned sexy man.

At twenty-one, Dusty sees how Quinlan sacrificed his own life and desires to care for Dusty’s family. He’s ready to claim Quinlan—he’s never met a kinder, more capable, more lovable man. Or a lonelier one. Quinlan has spent his life as the stranger on the edge of the photograph, but Dusty wants Quinlan to be the center of his world. First he has to convince Quinlan he’s an adult, their love is real, and Quinlan can be more than a friend and caregiver. Can he show Quin that he deserves to be both a man and a lover, and that in Dusty’s eyes, he’s never been “just the manny?”

About the Author: Award winning wool-gather, Amy Lane lives in a crumbling crapmansion with the children who are still growing, a fur-baby mafia, and a bemused spouse. She has too damned much yarn, a penchant for action adventure movies, and a need to know that somewhere in all the pain is a story of Wuv, Twu Wuv, which she continues to believe in to this day! She writes fantasy, urban fantasy, and gay romance–and if you accidentally make eye contact, she’ll bore you to tears with why those three genres go together. She’ll also tell you that sacrifices, large and small, are worth the urge to write.

Website | Facebook | Twitter

Buy the book at Amazon or Dreamspinner Press.

Reg’s Porn Name by Amy Lane – Guest Blog


Long and Short Reviews welcomes Amy Lane who is visiting with us today to celebrate the recent release of the latest book in her Johnnies series Bobby Green.

Reg’s Porn Name

Reg’s porn name is sort of a major character tell—because, for most of the book, he doesn’t have one.

Reg was one of John’s first models—when John asked him which name he’d like as his porn name, Reg doesn’t think he needs one. For one, he’s pretty excited to be known as a guy who can get naked on camera, but for another, he’s aware of his limitations. He doesn’t think quickly—he might not respond if someone calls him by a different name.

A few years later (right before Tommy meets Chase, for those who know the timeline) Reg has an encounter with a young lady that leaves him feeling… off balance. She takes his porn persona at face value, and Reg is left feeling… used. He never thought that sort of thing could happen to him—hey, he started when he was nineteen and all sex was good sex. But after nine years, it occurs to him—the naked guy on camera, and the guys he’s naked with, are only one part of who he is.

He suddenly wants to be a different person on camera.

It’s a hard bell to unring, the porn bell. He tries to be Digger for the next year and that… that doesn’t work so well. Because Reg is and always has been fundamentally Reg. He’s been kind and decent and as up front as he can be about what he’s feeling and what he’s thinking and who he is as a person. He assumes this is because he’s stupid and can’t think beyond the here and now, but the truth is much simpler and much more profound.

Reg is a character without artifice.

The one and only time he got his pubes waxed, it hurt and he cried and he stopped. He doesn’t compartmentalize, whether it’s pleasure or pain. If he’s happy, he tells you. If he’s hurt, he cries. And when he realizes that the guys from Johnnies are growing up and graduating from porn to other endeavors, he is hurt—but he’s not bitter.

“Lance?” he mumbled.

“Yeah?”

“You think you’ll remember me when you’re off doctoring and being famous, and I’m still here?”
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Lance’s hand in his hair was gentle, and in spite of what they’d just done in bed, brotherly. “I don’t think I’ll be able to forget you,” he said, his voice raspy and sad.

The guys from Johnnies love him even though he can’t make “Digger” stick. He’s straightforward and decent and real, and he carries a tough burden. So Reg is the one Johnnies boy whom I didn’t have to worry about coming up with a porn name for.

But coming up with his happy ever after was one of the most challenging things I’ve ever written.

Vern Roberts couldn’t wait to turn eighteen and get the hell out of Dogpatch, California. But city living is expensive, and he’s damned desperate when Dex from Johnnies spots him bussing tables.

As “Bobby,” he’s a natural at gay porn. Soon he’s surrounded by hot guys and sex for the taking, but it’s not just his girlfriend back in Dogpatch—or her blackmailing brother—that keeps him from taking it. It’s the sweet guy who held the lights for his first solo scene, who showed him decency, kindness, and a smile.

Reg Williams likes to think he’s too stupid to realize what a shitty hand life dealt him, but Bobby knows better. What Reg lacks in family, opportunity, education, and money, he makes up for in heart. One fumbling step at a time, they connect, not just in their hearts but in their bodies, where sex that’s not on camera, casual, or meaningless, becomes the most important thing in the world.

But Reg is hampered by an inescapable family burden, and he and Bobby will never fly unless he can find a way to manage it. Can he break the painful link to his unrealized childhood and grow into the love Bobby wants to give?

About the Author:Amy Lane is a mother of two grown kids, two half-grown kids, two small dogs, and half-a-clowder of cats. A compulsive knitter who writes because she can’t silence the voices in her head, she adores fur-babies, knitting socks, and hawt menz, and she dislikes moths, cat boxes, and knuckleheaded macspazzmatrons. She is rarely found cooking, cleaning, or doing domestic chores, but she has been known to knit up an emergency hat/blanket/pair of socks for any occasion whatsoever or sometimes for no reason at all. Her award-winning writing has three flavors: twisty-purple alternative universe, angsty-orange contemporary, and sunshine-yellow happy. By necessity, she has learned to type like the wind. She’s been married for twenty-five-plus years to her beloved Mate and still believes in Twu Wuv, with a capital Twu and a capital Wuv, and she doesn’t see any reason at all for that to change.

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Buy the book at Amazon or Dreamspinner Press.