10 Reasons to Date an Elf & 3 Reasons Why You Really Should Not by Kimber Li – Guest Blog and Giveaway

Long and Short Reviews welcomes Kimber Li who is visiting with us to talk about the first book in her Tales of the Elven Princesses series, Newblood and the Ice Princess. You can win a $10 Amazon gift card – read below to find out how.

10 Reasons to Date an Elf & 3 Reasons Why You Really Should Not

Some of the Reasons refer to someone else’s famous story which contains an elf or elves. It may be a book, movie, or children’s story. To win the prize, correctly name each of the stories each of the Reasons refers to. The Commenter with the most correct guesses wins.

1) Elves don’t shed all over your carpet, like werewolves.
2) Elves don’t suddenly get a wild case of the munchies when you’re making out, like vampires.
3) Your potential future children won’t have four paws or extra-sharp canine teeth, but they will have pointy ears which is kinda cute if you ask me.
4) Elves are excellent with shoe-care. They can even make a perfect pair just for you.
5) Elves can easily pass as Vulcans, so long as you don’t crack a joke.
6) Elves are always ready for the Renaissance Fair.
7) No one slays spiders quite so well, nor looks so good while they’re doing it.
8) Elves are so great at housekeeping, they’ve been enslaved at times for that very purpose. Which is sad and bad. So don’t do that. Just be grateful you’ll never need to load the dishwasher. Also, be a good sport and offer to polish his or her armor.
9) The most attractive elves live in treehouses which is super cool.
10) You’ll always get tons of gifts on Christmas morning.

3 Reasons Why Not
11) Their hair will always look better than yours. Always. Sorry about that.
12) An elf would totally not understand your aversion to constant winter.
13) Your potential in-laws might be really weird or even completely psycho. Especially when fine jewelry is involved. Apparently, they really have a thing for the bling.

Ophelia longs to be free, free of Diabetes, free to attend the college of her choice, free of her monstrous ex-boyfriend.

Gaining that freedom comes at a terrible cost, for Alaska isn’t called ‘the last great place to hide’ for nothing. Other than human renegades, an array of creatures hide among the blinding white snow. Bear-shifters. Vampires.
Elves of the Borean Realm.

Adrian’s the new guy in school. He faked his identity to get close to Ophelia, knowing the same monsters who took his sister would try to take her too. He knows better than to get too close, but he has no idea her exceptional senses make that effort futile.

Or that only she possesses the power needed to defeat the Newbloods and save her species from extinction.

Enjoy an Excerpt
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“Wait, you know?” Bianca sat too, hard, lower lip drooping and trembling.

Mom scooted in her chair to the table. “I did fall in love with a Pureblood Elf, the freakin’ Ice Prince of the Borean Realm, no less. He was…dazzling.” She rubbed her forehead in one palm. “Foreplay with an elf can go on for weeks. I miss that.”

“Ew!” Bianca’s face went green. “Gross. Mom, geez.”

“Your father and grandmother thought they could handle local security,” their mother continued, undeterred. “That’s why we hid you girls here, it’s the same latitude as the Borean Realm between Iceland and Poland. But, then, he got sick and…he wasn’t supposed to die, elves aren’t supposed to be vulnerable to human diseases. Grandma couldn’t…get here.” She winced. “Oh, God, what am I going to do?”

“We’re freakin’ elf princesses?” Bianca deflated in her chair. “Well, that explains why we love Christmas so much.”

“Not that kind of elf.” With an audible groan, Mom collapsed her face on her folded arms on her dinner plate.

“Elf princesses.” Adrian chuckled.

“Vegetable stir-fry over rice.” Ophelia dropped the sizzling wok on the table in front of him. She pulled her hair back from her pointed ear. “Yep, elf princesses.”

“Elf-freakin’-princesses, ya pirate.” Bianca pulled hair away from her own ear.

“Oh, crap.”

About the Author: Kimber Li bandaged her fingers and pounded out her first novel on a manual typewriter when she was eleven years old. She now makes her home in the Pacific Northwest with her husband of multiple decades, four children who are now taller than her and want a puppy, two spoiled rotten cats, and a bunch of chickens who are nothing but freeloading slackers.

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