The Chaos That Is Me – My Journey Through A Lifetime of Trauma, Abuse, and Depression by Shawna K. Whaley

The Chaos That Is Me – My Journey Through A Lifetime of Trauma, Abuse, and Depression by Shawna K. Whaley
Publisher: Self-Published
Genre: Non-Fiction, Contemporary, Historical
Rating: 3 Stars
Reviewed by Astilbe

The Chaos That Is Me: My Journey Through A Lifetime of Trauma, Abuse, and Depression is a memoir by Shawna K. Whaley, born in 1979, in Southeast Ohio. Her life story is a powerful testament to survival and resilience amidst relentless adversity. Shawna’s childhood was marred by abuse, neglect, and homelessness, compounded by addiction and violence. Despite severe back issues and depression, she remained determined to create a better life for herself and her daughters; although she knows she hasn’t succeeded, she hasn’t given up yet.

The memoir details Shawna’s life in an abusive childhood to an abusive marriage, to finally living on her own, and her strength in rebuilding her life. With raw honesty, she shares the defining moments of her journey, offering a narrative that resonates deeply with anyone who has faced life’s darkest challenges.

Freedom can be found in telling the truth.

One of the things I liked about this book was how deeply it dove into the multitude of ways that abuse still affects people years or even decades later. If someone is taught that certain behaviors are normal, it can be difficult to unlearn those ideas later on in life or to notice some of the early red flags of an abusive person in future relationships. This is not to say that victims should ever be blamed for their abuse, of course, only that they can be at higher risk of being harmed again and should be given special consideration so they can learn what healthier relationships look, sound, and feel like.

I had trouble keeping track of all of the people in Ms. Whaley’s life. There were quite a few friends, relatives, coworkers, and acquaintances to remember, and not everyone was described in enough detail for me to immediately recall how she knew them. It would have been helpful to either have a reference list of who everyone was or for more time to be spent on talking about what they were like and how they were connected to the author.

The ending was realistic and made me wish for a sequel. Unlike how things often unfold in fiction, healing in real life doesn’t have a clearcut beginning or ending. The author’s recovery from her abusive childhood and marriage is ongoing, but I saw some promising changes in her life as a single adult. I wanted to give her a hug or a kind word as I read about the challenges she is still going through. It felt like I’d gotten to know her well as I read her memoir, and I’d love to read a sequel someday that shows how she managed in life and maybe even found a way to thrive from 2025 onwards.

The Chaos That Is Me – My Journey Through A Lifetime of Trauma, Abuse, and Depression was memorable.