How Not to Date a Tentacle Monster by Stephanie Burke

How Not to Date a Tentacle Monster by Stephanie Burke
How Not to 10
Publisher: Changeling Press
Genre: Erotic Romance, Sci-Fi/Fantasy, Contemporary
Rating: 4.5 Stars
Reviewed by Astilbe

Helios Ju has the perfect boyfriend. Peter has the perfect body, the perfect hair, the perfectly loving attitude… and about 20 cocks in his pants.

No stranger to bodies that don’t fit the societal norm as an intersex person himself, Helios has no reason to fear bodies that are different. But now he has to come to grips with the fact that yes, there are aliens on planet Earth; yes, he is falling in love with one; and yes, his virgin alien boyfriend wants to trust him with all of his secrets.

After his disastrous past on Earth, Peter is frightened to reveal his true nature to his perfect boyfriend. But how can they have a relationship if there are secrets being kept? Peter is ready to give it all to Helios, but first he has to be brave enough to reveal the truth of what’s in his heart as well as what’s in his pants.
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In the end, he hopes that his Helios is strong enough to understand that even Tentacle Monsters need love too.

Dating a tentacle monster is easy if you know the rules ahead of time!

The fabulous sense of humor expressed in the seven attention-grabbing words of the title were repeated over and over again in the storyline itself. This was especially evident in the dialogue. Multiple times I laughed out loud at the ways Helios and Peter expressed themselves. They had such a humorous way with words, especially when it came to Peter reassuring his anxious boyfriend that he wasn’t “dead, dying, or any form of the undead” after Helios worried what serious matter they were about to discuss.

No sooner did I finish my first round of laughter at their banter than I realized that Peter and Helios had fantastic chemistry. While there was a brief time in the beginning when I felt like I’d been dropped into the middle of their relationship without having enough information about their backstories, this feeling faded almost completely as I noticed all of the little and big ways in which their personalities suited each other perfectly.

I liked the way the storyline acknowledged Helios’ intersex identity without making it a big deal. He simply was who he was, and that was nice. What made it even more interesting is how it contrasted to how sex and gender were determined in Peter’s species. This is something that every reader should discover for themselves, but I was fascinated by it.

This is the tenth story in a series. It can be read as a standalone work.

Anyone who loves teasing out the funny side of the science fiction or erotic genres should definitely give How Not to Date a Tentacle Monster a go.

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