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I think I love to be a story teller to begin with. While reading books and novels gives you the chance to travel to the other countries, communities and getting to know different cultures and familiarize yourself with different worlds, writing opens another door for you. Words will become alive while you use them to create your story. Fact or fiction, if you think that’s time to express yourself in any way just by writing, then in my opinion, that’s what you need to do and that’s what I did! Writing for me felt like having a deep, relaxing mediation. I never felt tired and in fact, I felt more energized after I finished writing chapters after chapters. I, myself, wanted to know where the story was taking me, and what would happen next. As if I was part of my own story. I cried with my characters, I lived with them through all their hardships, triumphs and I tried to reflect the feelings they experienced through my sentences. I work very closely with people daily and I try to connect to them during my consultations to be able to help them as much as I can. By now I know that I can never judge people if I want to be able to help them and I also need to help them not to judge themselves unfairly. Most of the time I feel that we all try to take care of our shells or in other words, how we look from outside by ignoring our inner being and trying so hard to hide broken and shattered human beings existing inside our shells. I really wanted to write about experiences I had as a physician trying to shed lights on the real fears, hopes and challenges of real people by intertwining all in a love story. We are all human beings with unique experiences in life, but what makes us interested in following a love story is that we too have been affected by emotional changes. We would like to explore emotions through others and learn from it, even experience emotions with those fictional characters. People’s attention can be drawn to important facts if those facts or realities are delicately woven into an enticing love story. Self-awareness and self-scrutiny are essential for us to achieve personal growth and happiness in life, so I tried to focus on this reality through creating Rose’s character and her life journey. The main female character of On Loving, Rose, experiences a variety of challenges on her journey and shares her deep emotions all through the story with the reader. She shows how connecting deeply to her feminine side as a woman does not weaken her as a person; in fact, it makes her a better, stronger human being and enables her to connect to her surroundings in a more beautiful, fulfilling way.

In 1972, Dr. Rose Hemmings has just finished her general surgery residency when a haunted stranger is shot in front of her in a New York City bar, and their lives become forever intertwined. And when, having been given the blessing of her adoptive father on his deathbed, Rose travels to prerevolutionary Iran to discover the past her American family kept secret from her, she finds a true Pandora’s box. It is a world both foreign and familiar, in which her primary place is as the heiress to a great tribe. In Iran, Rose will find family she never dreamed of, her own people, and a man who loves her as passionately as he does the rare black roses of his garden. She will return to the United States carrying a new secret and torn between two men: the one she loves helplessly, and the one who loves her unconditionally.

Woven throughout with Persian poetry ancient and modern, On Loving is the story of one woman’s lifetime of love and loss, of societal change in a nomadic people, and of overcoming personal challenges, including mental and physical health, to find true contentment. Above all, it is a story of love: its physiology, psychology and philosophy; the many forms it takes; its myths and truths; its challenges, its joys and its gifts.

Enjoy an Excerpt

It was a beautiful late spring afternoon in Paris, and I decided to stroll down the streets of this lovely city as much as I could, to calm my nerves after that emotional talk.

Walking at a slow pace, through the charming cobbled passages and tree-lined avenues of the mesmerizing City of Love, I easily found my way to the Café de la Rotonde, my favorite café to spend time in whenever I’m in Paris. I love being in bustling Montparnasse, where Hemingway, Fitzgerald, Picasso and many others took their coffee breaks many years ago. Sitting there, I always feel that I can hear their voices or even smell in the air the tobacco they smoked. Being a huge fan of literature and art since childhood, being in that environment for even a few minutes often led me to think how it might feel to create a masterwork or to write something as captivating as they once did.

I was about to sip my coffee when a young woman sitting at the table close to mine suddenly left in a rush, forgetting her newspaper and cellphone.

“Excusez-moi, madame?” I took the newspaper and phone and followed her, hoping to catch up before she completely disappeared in the crowd, but it was too late.

Back at my seat and handed the phone to the waiter while glancing at the newspaper’s front page:

Des millions de la Reine Soraya Esfandiari-Bakhtiari iront à la charité

“Queen Soraya Esfandiari-Bakhtiari’s millions go to charity”

I quickly asked the waiter to let me keep the paper.

I sat on my chair, staring at the title again. I felt as if I had stumbled on a familiar face, as if I knew her intimately. I touched her photo: her beautiful eyes, her lovely smile. Everything about her was unique, even thirteen years after her death in Paris in 2001.

Then, shaking inside, I read the report.

Princess Soraya Esfandiari-Bakhtiari, born in the city of Isfahan in 1932 to an Iranian father from the well-known Bakhtiari family and his German wife, had died childless back in 2001. But now a court in Germany had ruled that because her brother, who lived there, had died before settlement was finished, her entire $6 million estate should be divided among the three charities she’d chosen — the Red Cross, a group that worked for animal protection and a disabled rights group. The article talked about her time as queen, her beauty, her stunning emerald eyes and how she’d be known as the “Princess with the sad eyes” after the last king of Iran, Mohammad-Reza Pahlavi, divorced her in 1958 for not producing an heir. Yet much of her wealth had come from jewellery he had gifted her; he loved her deeply.

Wait a second!

I quickly wiped the tears that ran down my face, trying to stay calm. But it wasn’t the deceased former queen I was mourning. It was my own past, surging up from beneath the dust that had covered it for years, that made me so emotional. The former queen’s distinctive name and her story reminded me painfully of the love I had shared in my heart for many years, the love that had changed my destiny in so many ways.

Drenched in cold sweat, I rested my forehead on the newspaper, feeling the hard table beneath it.

Life is so mystifying. After all these years … The gracious Queen Soraya … my distant relative! We shared genes, ancestors … I know … I know well the very place she was born in, I’ve been there — Isfahan, the ancient city of Isfahan, City of Roses … city of my own beautiful black roses!

I felt like I was choking and struggled to breathe. I needed fresh air. I put money on the table and rushed out of the café.

About the AuthorLili Naghdi is an Iranian Canadian physician who was born and raised in Tehran. She continued her education and research after moving to Canada with her husband and daughter in 1996. Today she practices family medicine in Vaughan, Ontario, with particular interests in women’s and mental health. Being a family physician gives her the privilege of connecting with patients and participating in their care with a deeper understanding of the physical, emotional and social adversities they face. Interacting with people of many different backgrounds has also provided Dr. Naghdi with the opportunity to grow as a person, a physician and an author.

Growing up in pre- and post-revolutionary Iran, Lili became fascinated by the magical realm of literature, poetry and history. She began collecting prized quotations at the young age of eight. Dr. Naghdi has written poetry and short stories in both Farsi and English, but she eventually followed William Wordsworth’s advice to “Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart,” and turned to fiction.

On Loving is her first novel. Inspired by both the ordinary people she has the honor to support and by the great literature of Persia and the world — from Hafez to Forugh Farrokhzad and from John Steinbeck to Margaret Mitchell — Dr. Naghdi passionately agrees with Boris Pasternak, whose Yuri Zhivago is a physician and patriotic poet, when he writes: “Literature is the art of discovering something extraordinary about ordinary people and saying with ordinary words something extraordinary.”

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