Baking with Banshees by Xenia Melzer – Guest Blog

Long and Short Reviews welcomes Xenia Melzer who is celebrating today’s release of Demon’s Wish, the first book in her Demon’s Mate series.

Baking with Banshees

I’m a huge fan of Douglas Adams’ Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy and when I was confronted with the chance to create a little homage to the Guide, I simply couldn’t resist. In the world of Demon’s Mates exists a book called The Guide to Successful and Satisfying Sex with a Paranormal. The reference to Douglas Adams is rather obvious but that wasn’t the only reason I introduced the book to the plot. As an avid reader of paranormal stories of all flavors I often think how handy a book explaining everything about sex with paranormals would be for the characters and so, when Sammy from Demon’s Wish decides he wants to go all the way with his demonic boyfriend, he turns to the Guide, trusting it will help him with his endeavor. Of course I’m not going to elaborate on what the book says about sex with a demon – the screen would go up in smoke, for one – but the chapter about Banshees can be safely released without corrupting younger readers and giving older readers ideas for the bedroom that could send them to the orthopedist. Here’s what the Guide has to say about Banshees:

You don’t have sex with Banshees. They are asexual. In fact, there’s many things you don’t want to have or do with Banshees. You don’t want to hear their scream – unless you feel ready to leave this plain of existence. You don’t want to take fashion advice from them – unless you’re ready to learn about the finer details of practically every kind of cloth on the planet. In comparison, hearing their scream seems like mercy. You don’t want to get into a discussion about hair dye with them – unless you’re prepared to get your hair dyed a different color every week for the next few months of forever. You don’t want to talk gender with them – unless you enjoy getting your head ripped off. And you never ever under no circumstances want to bake with them. For clarification of this vital point and to emphasize how much you don’t want to share a kitchen with a Banshee, we have listed a recipe for muffins and how a Banshee would go about making them.

Mix six medium-sized eggs and 250g of powdered sugar until the mixture is nearly white and has bubbles.
What do they mean, medium-sized? How big can an egg get… Oh, wait, okay, they probably mean not to take ostrich eggs. And I guess emu and cassowary are out as well. No quail or hummingbird eggs either. Too small. So I guess I’ll just take two duck’s eggs, two chicken eggs and isn’t there some powder that is just like eggs only less messy? Now, powdered sugar, what’s powdered sugar? I thought sugar is grainy, like salt. Should I just step on it until it’s more like dust? That’s going to take forever and I don’t have that much time to waste, there’s jewelry to buy and I wanted to try that new dye and why am I bothering with this crap anyway? Okay, let’s see what’s next…

Add 200g of molten chocolate and 200g flour. Mix thoroughly.

Molten chocolate. Molten chocolate. I just put the bars on the radiator. Piece of cake, ha, ha. (Twenty minutes later.) Mmm, strange, not molten yet, I guess I just put it in like that. Ugh, why’s that silvery paper clinging to the chocolate? How do I get it off? (Cursing. A lot of it.) Well, the muffins do look better with a few silver streaks in them anyway, it’s pretty, almost like my rings… Damn, now there’s chocolate all over my rings! (Frantic washing.) Flour. Adding it now, and mixing. There, totally easy. Looks good. Thoroughly mixed, yep.

Put batter in muffin pan, bake in the oven for fifteen minutes at 160 degree.

Batter in pan, check. 160 degree, check. In they go. Let’s see, now it’s quarter past ten, so taking them out at half past. Time to decide what I could wear for shopping today. (Off into the bedroom.)

An hour later: Okay, it’s going to be the yellow skinny jeans with the blue tank top though I guess I have to put in some blue strands in my hair, do I still have blue dye and what’s that strange smell, almost like something’s burning. It’s coming from the kitchen… The kitchen! (Frantic running toward the kitchen, black smoke wafting through the house.)

Damn, forgot all about those. They’re pretty solid now and charred. Let’s see if I can’t scrape the worst off – there, doesn’t look so bad anymore. Where’s the rack, they need to cool off otherwise people will burn their tongues eating them…

This is just a tiny example of what a Banshee is capable of in the kitchen. So don’t go there. Ever.

Finding love is hard—especially when you’re a demon and your potential mate is your sacrifice…
Age doesn’t curb the desire for human canadian cialis no prescription contact yet recognition of this is considered taboo. You will cipla tadalafil 20mg be quite contented after you get your female in bed for sexual feed, you must satisfy her. Do not take the dose more than tadalafil soft tablets once per day. This is pretty much proven that the fruit having a very soft outer layer which makes it extremely perishable, a multi-billion dollar production and distribution industry to grow, store, process, package, cialis prescription and distribute is found present out there.
Sammy is content with running his bookshop and leading a book club consisting solely of paranormal creatures. Despite the persistence of his friends, he has resolved himself to a life without romance, since he doesn’t think anybody could find him and his tendency to spill useless knowledge whenever he gets nervous attractive.

Dresalantion is a demon prince and slightly—make that majorly—annoyed when somebody persistently tries to summon him. He finally decides to show up and put the fear of Dresalantion into his summoners but finds himself rescuing their sacrifice instead.

Sammy intrigues him from the get-go, and when Dre realizes that Sammy can get him the manga he’s been hunting for months—not to mention that he refuses a wish he offered him—the sexy demon decides to get to know this fascinating man better. Much better.

About the Author:Xenia Melzer was born and raised in a small village in the South of Bavaria. As one of nature’s true chocoholics, she’s always in search of the perfect chocolate experience. So far, she’s had about a dozen truly remarkable ones. Despite having been in close proximity to the mountains all her life, she has never understood why so many people think snow sports are fun. There are neither chocolate nor horses involved and it’s cold by definition, so where’s the sense? She does not like beer either and has never been to the Oktoberfest – no quality chocolate there.

Even though her mind is preoccupied with various stories most of the time, Xenia has managed to get through school and university with surprisingly good grades. Right after school she met her one true love who showed her that reality is capable of producing some truly amazing love stories itself.

While she was having her two children, she started writing down the most persistent stories in her head as a way of relieving mommy-related stress symptoms. As it turned out, the stress-relief has now become a source of the same, albeit a positive one.

When she’s not writing, she translates the stories of other authors into German, enjoys riding and running, spending time with her kids, and dancing with her husband.


Buy the book at Amazon, Pride Publishing, or Barnes and Noble.

Speak Your Mind


This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.