Planet Earth Adventures by D.P. Elemm

Planet Earth Adventures by D.P. Elemm
Publisher: Self-Published
Genre: Sci-Fi/Fantasy, Contemporary
Length: Short Story (79 pages)
Rating: 3 Stars
Reviewed by Astilbe

Planet Earth Adventures is the story of a man named Krakken and his best friend, Chris P. Critter, the millionaire inventor of The Simpleton. Krakken has several utterly useless college degrees. He is also the father of a strange and precocious toddler named Camadan, whom he adopted after a chance meeting with a girl. (“Some guys get herpes from a one night stand. I got a baby.”) Chris is impulsive and hyperactive and more than a little crazy, and he hires Krakken as payback for helping graduate high school.

Chris is on a mission to find a new form of “alt power”, an energy type that he believes will make him a billionaire. He enlists his friend Krakken to go and search for this new form of energy in a vehicle called The Angry Dwarf, using a new invention called The Knows. After several chance encounters with some truly odd and often infuriating people, the two friends finally discover an enormous source of alt power. But in short order, they discover a shocking truth: the energy signature they have found is caused by an alien spacecraft that crash landed on Earth many years ago.

The ship was piloted by the survivors of a planet wide civil war, on a world dominated by a race of hyper-evolved dogs. It was meant to be a rescue ship searching for refugees who had fled their planet, but their rescue failed. Not only did they crash, a new civil war broke out on the ship, an uprising led by a traitor who called himself Master Cannis. He was defeated, but wrecked the rescue ship, and killed many of its people. Chris, Krakken and Camadan stay aboard their ship to help make repairs.

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Additionally, the book is about ideas, and questions. Some are technical, such as “why can’t we stop traffic jams by somehow getting the fast drivers in front of the slow ones?” or “why do we grow trees just to cut them into pieces, then nail the pieces back together to make a house?” Others are more philosophical, such as “what does it mean to be a family?” or “are aliens racist?” Still others are critical: “why are we trying to find aliens when we can’t stand the sight of other people?”

Most important of all, Planet Earth Adventures is about hope. Most of the aliens are either friendly or at least tolerant. They have survived a genocidal conflict and managed to rebuild their home world. This gives us hope that we too will survive whatever happens in the years ahead.

Families come in all shapes and sizes.

The puns were well written. For example, the main character’s best friend was named Chris P. Critter. This was one of the many things that made me grin while I was reading. It was amusing to pick up on all of these zany references, especially since the characters didn’t necessarily notice what was going on with them or why they were funny. It was like a private joke with the audience, and I enjoyed that.

I had some trouble understanding what was going on in this story because of how little time was spent explaining anything. Readers were thrown into the first scene with only a sentence or two of introductions to the characters and no references at all to what they were doing or what they hoped to accomplish. As interested as I was in the premise, not having this information made it tricky for me to keep my interest levels high as the plot moved forward.

There aren’t many science fiction books out there that include toddlers. I was intrigued as soon as I realized that one of the characters was this age, and I only became more interested in him over time. Having a little one along for the journey changed so many things the adult characters were capable of doing, from how often they stopped for food to what they talked about when he was listening. This was a nice addition to the genre, and I hope other writers start including more characters who happen to be parents to young children.

I’d recommend Planet Earth Adventures to anyone who likes tongue-in-cheek science fiction.