Since its Valentine’s Day, I thought I would ask your opinion on the old fashion Victorian corsets. I really, really want one, but–yes there is a but! But I’m a full-figured lady. I’m not talking small melon breasts but watermelons! Not to mention the extra rolls on the stomach from child birth I haven’t lost, so I have to wonder if this would even be romantic or sexy?
I sure don’t want to go purchase one and put it on to look like a pig all wrapped up for a hog-tying contest. Let’s not forget the fact I’ve heard they can be very uncomfortable. I want a romantic night with the husband. I don’t want to be moaning from pain from a top. If I’m moaning, it better be from something else, ya know?
So, those of you who have one, please step forward and tell me, are they worth it? Can a full-figured woman look sexy in one or should I forget the idea and just get a teddy with the garter belts? Yes, husband wants the garter belts, and the last time I wore those was when we conceived my daughter fifteen years ago. Now I have to find the stockings to fit me!
It almost makes you wonder who invented Valentine’s Day, doesn’t it? I mean, come on, do you know how expensive those things are? Then, if you have been married for several years, experienced child birth and have added on a few pounds how sexy can that be? Maybe they (the men), just want us to dress up so they can laugh at us when we turn around or torture us for bitching at them for leaving the toilet seat up!
I know there is one thing he won’t get me into, though, and that’s those five-inch spike heels. I’d break my freaking neck wearing those things. I’ve never worn heels like that. My ankles are too weak for that crap. See, that’s what a man should invent—a sexy flat shoe!!! So what do I do I can’t tolerate high heels and I’d like to feel sexy too, but nooo we’re stuck with shoes that squish our toes, make our ankles crack, and our feet hurt. Then, of course, there is the fact you have to learn how to walk in them, unless you just buy them, lay on the bed and pose! I could do that, but if he even thinks of asking me to walk to him, he better be quick and strong enough to catch me when I fall flat on my ass!
What will you wear on Valentine’s Day? Will you take the easy way out and just wrap a large red bow around your naked body? In my case, I would have to have at least ten feet of ribbon!