Blurb Blitz Tour and giveaway: Love in the RV Park by Jeffrey Ross

11_6 BBT Love in an RV Park Banner copy

This post is part of a virtual book tour organized by Goddess Fish Promotions. Jeffrey will be awarding a $25 BN GC to a randomly drawn commenter during the tour. Click on the tour banner to see the other stops on the tour.

11_6 MEDIA KIT LoveInRVParkFront062413This quirky and fast moving romance revolves around passionate lovers in tangled and mostly unfulfilling relationships. The tale is complete with hot housewives, rock musicians, exotic dancers, motorcycles, steamy nail polish-melting love scenes, hard drinking college professors, hybrid alien children, a romantic bug exterminator, girl fights, a New Year’s Eve brawl, religious zealotry, prophecies (The Temple of Just DOET) —and more. Ultimately, Love in the RV Park is about the male perception [misperception?] of the female psyche.—and the novel attempts to answer an age-old question: What do women want? Laugh or cry—you’ll come away enlightened after reading this zany romance.

Enjoy an excerpt:

Johnny Roz
Retired English Teacher

Johnny was a capable and careful man who kept a clean apartment. He wasn’t hooked up to cable, or dish TV, but he occasionally watched network events on the seven inch screen antenna-driven handheld model he bought at Sticky Mart for forty bucks.

Johnny had never been married. He often wondered about the life he lived, and realized financial security provided little in the way of emotional comfort.

Johnny had always been fascinated by women, but had realized few “connections” with them. He had maintained female friends at work, but not many.

Women, to Johnny, seemed to represent some kind of problem—a beautiful yet complicated problem.

A bit of a rhetorician, he often spent his days contemplating, analyzing, and critically reviewing the following question relating to human behavior: What do women want? Ah, Johnny knew Chaucer had an answer, Jerry Springer was curious, Virginia Woolf had a speculative idea or thirty, and Hollywood had churned out their notions in millions of senses-numbing bad movies, but he himself was at a total loss.

John was having a series of dreams lately—those kinds you have in the moments before you wake up—which were totally depressing him. In the dreams, the formula, the plot line, was nearly always the same. To wit:

Julia, an attractive and unhappily-married housewife from down the street, knocks on his door. He opens the door to see her, smiling, holding a measuring cup in her left hand. In each of the dreams, she has asked for something different—sometimes sugar, sometimes milk, sometimes cream, sometimes salsa, sometimes peanut oil. Once she even asked for cloves of garlic. He invites her into the front room, takes the cup, and finds the spice or ingredient she needs back in the kitchen. When he returns to the darkening room, she is always sitting on the couch, twirling a strand of auburn hair with one hand, and, with the other, patting the couch, signaling him to sit down next to her, next to her shapely form.

Her lips are pouty and beyond energized. She breathes heavily, with poignant and powerful desire. Her legs cross and uncross rhythmically. Um. Can you feel the heat?

Johnny always places the cup on his beat-up old coffee table and looks into Julia’s clear eyes—crystal pools of composure and need.

She puts her arms around him and nuzzles his chicken-skin wrinkly neck, and then she snuggles into Johnny. Now her lips are moist and panting. The old guy reaches out and hugs her, feels her curves, and is overwhelmed by a gloaming sense of comfort, love, connection. Her breath is sweet, her hands are satin, and the moment is warm and complete.

About the Author: 11_6 MEDIA KIT Author PhotoJeffrey Ross, who resides in Arizona, is a writer, rockabilly musician, and former full-time community college teacher. He has had four “Views” pieces published on InsidehigherEd.com, has authored and co-authored several national and international op-ed articles on community college identity, purpose, and culture, and has recently published numerous parody poems and articles on the Cronk Newshigher education satire website. Ross co-authored the comic and critically acclaimed campus novel College Leadership Crisis: The Philip Dolly Affair (Rogue Phoenix Press, 2011).

@salinaschick
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Buy the book at Rogue Phoenix Press, Amazon, Barnes and Noble, or Smashwords

Comments

  1. Thank you for hosting

  2. This book sounds good 🙂 Thanks 😉

  3. Jeffrey Ross (@salinaschick) says:

    Thank you for hosting!

  4. Tamika Spruill says:

    Thanks for the giveaway. Your book and your life sound awesome!

  5. Well, I have to ask: Why hybrid alien children have a role in a novel about men and love?

  6. Frank Eastermann says:

    I read this whacky book—and laughed my head off. There is quite a bit of “suggestion,” sure, but I found the paranormal detritus the most interesting—Sasquatches, aliens, and a Speedo-wearing ghost. Ha!

  7. An excellent excerpt! Thanks for sharing 😀

    andralynn7 AT gmail DOT com

  8. Eva Millien says:

    Sounds like a really good book. Thanks for sharing it and the giveaway. evamillien at gmail dot com

  9. Jeffrey Ross (@salinaschick) says:

    Thank you all for the comments.

    To Mr. Post– Since this is a romance designed for men (at least in a tongue-in-cheek way), I thought a subplot involving aliens might be appealing. Do you you believe we are alone?

    To Mr. Eastermann– I’m glad you had a good laugh. What would you think about a romance novel involving a Sasquatch tribe? just a thought…..

    • Frank Eastermann says:

      Well…Yasss! You see, I’ve always been fascinated with the Sasquatch mythology. In fact, I’m a rather hairy guy myself and have often been humorously described as “the missing link” or something similar.

  10. amy bowens says:

    Wow this has a little bit of everything in it. Love the excerpt! Thanks amybowens34@yahoo.com

  11. That was nice

    bn100candg at hotmail dot com

  12. Karen H in NC says:

    Sorry for the late post. I’m playing catch-up here so I’m just popping in to say HI and sorry I missed visiting with you on party day! Hope you all had a good time!
    kareninnc at gmail dot com

  13. Thanks for the chance to win!
    Sounds like a great read!!
    natasha_donohoo_8 at hotmail dot com

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